


Ashes of Neverland

by Siphravi



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Crimes & Criminals, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Language, Journey to the truth, M/M, Multi, Neverland (Peter Pan), Orphans, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Other kpop idols as side characters - Freeform, Past Drug Addiction, Peter Pan References, Physical Abuse, Polyamory, Romance, Smut, Supernatural Elements, Superpowers, Treasure map, Yeosang is just a cute waiter trying to live normally, everyone had a complicated past when they came back, mafia, mention of overdose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:43:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23261167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siphravi/pseuds/Siphravi
Summary: Neverland was where Peter Pan lived. This is where he took children to live with him. He offered them powers, a place to live. A community. A sense of family.But there was one rule. Don't become an adult. Remain a child forever.Now, they lost Neverland. Banished, maybe. Cursed, possibly. Abandoned and forced to be a part of the world they were once taken from. They are left with only parts of memories, without the truth of what really happened, hunted for their powers. Children and adolescents that disappeared coming back to their families that see them as monsters. Abnormal.Trying to find each other. Seeking the truth. Some of the children made this choice.Everyone thought he was a child of Pan. He was not. Survive, live and adapt, Yeosang made this choice.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Kang Yeosang/Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 30
Kudos: 94





	1. It's an endless voyage, we go as we are

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Welcome to my first fanfic here! English is not my first language, so I'm sorry if there are still a few mistakes. I've been working on this story and plot for a few months now, with my roommates and I really hope you'll like it!~

Yeosang sneezed. Days were getting colder, and he forgot his scarf at home this morning. His sleeves were long enough to hide his hands in it. He adjusted his hoodie and changed the song playing on his phone. Yeosang cancelled the city noises with his headphones, blasting a hip-hop song. Every day, except Sundays. He took the same road every day. Same routine. Every day, except Sundays. Sundays were made for sleeping in or helping his grandmother with chores. He liked Sundays.

But today wasn't a Sunday. Just a cold sunny friday morning.

  
An older woman gave him a nasty look. Yeosang put his hood over his birthmark. People tended to stare at it when his hair didn't cover it properly. _It's just a birthmark_ , thought Yeosang. Just because it was next to his left eye and a redder shade than his skin, it drew attention. Yeosang turned away from the lady. Usually, he applied a bit of concealer over his birthmark to hide it. He never appreciated the attention on him. _Blend in_.

His stop came quickly. And Yeosang exited the station at a quick pace. He still had a ten minutes walk to the restaurant he worked with his grandmother. Yeosang hated being late for anything. He knew this part of the city like the back of his hand. Every road, every shop, and every short cut. He'd roamed those streets during his sixteenth year when he was alone, without friends and memories, thrown away from the orphanage.

  
Yeosang liked to go through a small dark alley, it saved him a big detour and no one was in this alley. Except today. Because luck was not on Yeosang side today apparently. Three big men were smoking at the end. Yeosang could have gone back, take the longer road to the restaurant. Be just five minutes late. They laughed, and it made Yeosang's skin almost itch. Adjusting his hood, he stoped his music but kept his earphones on. _Pretend_. Yeosang learned that quite young. He needed to be aware of what the men were saying when he would pass them, without them thinking he was hearing their conversation. He needed to know and hoped for a smooth passage. He hoped they wouldn't care about him. Pretend. Know your surrounding. Then act.

  
Fight or flight.

Yeosang was no fighter. He knew how to throw a punch. Knew where to hit to make an easier escape right after the blow. He learned that quite young. Sending a brief look at the men, they seemed to not have taken interest in Yeosang. Good. He was nearing them, stopped breathing, the acrid smoke burning his eyes. They were too big for him to defeat alone by sheer force. Yeosang was not the tallest and even if he possessed strength, it was not enough. He passed them. Released his breath. He almost sighed from relief when one of the men called him.

  
"Hey! Boy!"

  
Yeosang turned. He kept his eyes at their chests, not looking directly in their eyes. He did not answer. Did not want to. He looked around him quickly. There was a garbage bin at his right. This could be useful if needed. A moment of silence passed. Yeosang heard a gasp from the man in the dark shoes.

  
"You're one of _them_ , right?" spitted the second man with a yellow jacket. The color was hideous it almost hurt to look at it.

  
This sentence made Yeosang look up. He stared at the men. They looked like thugs, but low rank. Waiting an order from higher-ups just to prove themselves. This was not the first time Yeosang saw men like this. It would not be the last time either. It started to feel like an ordinary sight. They couldn't grab him. He was out of their reach. He still took a step back, anchoring himself.

  
"No," he simply said.

  
"Don't lie! You're marked!" ugly jacket shoot back.

  
"We could get so much cash at the freak auction!"

  
Time was precious, and Yeosang definitely didn't want to spend his with these men. He sighed loudly. _It's just a birthmark_ , he thought again. Dark shoes man moved forward. Yeosang sent him a black stare.

  
"I wouldn't do this if I were you. Cheong Youngmi would be so sad to see her favorite grandchild with low rank idiots who don't know what they're talking about," responded Yeosang.  
  
He learned how to grow up by baring his teeth to the world while looking like an angel. He learned to use his words to tear down anyone who went against him. First man blanched instantly. It took a few seconds before yellow jacket seemed to get it. Dark shoes stopped, looked at the first man, confused.

  
_Cheong_.  
  
Yeosang liked how it felt on his tongue. He liked the power it gave him. In this part of the city, almost everyone recognized who the Cheong clan was. They owned so much. A powerful, yet very discreet mafia clan. It was not easy to enter the clan, harder to leave it alive. Scarier to assault one of the members. They possessed so many companies as front for shady businesses. Cheong Youngmi was the mother of the head of the Cheong clan. Even though, she did not take part into the affairs of his son Cheong Kyungtae, she still was a founder of the clan. She had established the Cheong empire.

  
"You've got to be kidding boy," yellow jacket shouted. His tone was serious, almost severe. Yeosang realised they were not expecting to hear this name today. He dug up his necklace, a simple half gold half copper coin but it was enough. Yeosang heard them gasp.

The coin showed you belonged. And Yeosang belonged. His name was still Kang, but he was still part of the Cheong empire. Cheong Youngmi made sure of it when she adopted him years ago and offered him the coin, as a protection, as a symbol. He wore it every day, under his clothes, a reminder that he belonged. However, he never took part of Cheong Kyungtae businesses, and Youngmi never wanted that for him. She kept him away from this world. When she retired and let her son run the clan, she opened a modest restaurant where she gave Yeosang a job as a waiter. He never knew her when she was still a mobster. Cheong Youngmi had already opened her restaurant when Yeosang met her.

  
"I didn't know they had a _child like you_ ," almost growled dark shoes. Reckless. Yeosang found this man reckless. The first man grabbed his friend by the arm quickly.

  
"Don't!" he whispered loud enough for Yeosang to hear.

  
One of the things that irritated Yeosang was to be treated as someone he was not. _Just a birthmark_. He placed the coin back under his clothes.

  
"Not one of them," Yeosang started, clearly annoyed."Please, don't bother me again. Cheong Kyungtae has better things to do than deal with you but his men aren't the most gentle.”

  
He turned, ignored the men still unsettled. They started arguing in low voices. Yeosang still had to go to work and with a rapid pace he exited the alley, entering a bigger street with more people. He felt so much relief when he turned his head back to see the men were not following him. He respected the power the Cheong clan offered him, but danger came with it too. He never employed it lightly. Being under the protection of this clan meant bearing a responsibility to never tarnish the name of said clan.

  
Yeosang was only seventeen when Cheong Youngmi found him. He learned that day that kindness could be genuine. Living on the street for almost two years since the orphanage threw him out with a bit of money, his life became a repetition of: finding a shelter, food and surviving. Running away from bad intentioned men became an occurring situation. Be it gang members, just drunk office workers or even other homeless men. Feral was an understatement of what he became at this point of his life. Yeosang avoided every conflict. Conflicts meant losing the fight for him. Getting wounds. Losing the few coins or foods he scavenged. And he could not afford that. Yeosang avoided every human.

  
He had memorized every single path for a quick escape in the city, every little cranny where he could fit and hide. Sometimes, he just didn't have luck with escape and low rank thugs got a hand on him. This was how Youngmi found him. Bruised and battered, dirty and bloody and she took him home.

  
He still remembered the incomprehension and rage from Kyungtae a few days later. "You can't pick him up like a fucking stray cat!!!" he had yelled. But her mother would not change her mind. She would keep Yeosang. She nursed him back to life. Even though they did not share blood, Yeosang undoubtedly considered Youngmi as his grandmother. It has been more than six years now. Time passed, Yeosang would be twenty four this year.

After a few turns, Yeosang was sure the men were not following him. He arrived at Youngmi's restaurant. The smell of spices, food and wood felt like home for him. He inhaled deeply.The Mist mixed tradition and modernity. The small restaurant offered Korean food and there were special table for barbecue. Youngmi privileged a darker wood, giving a comfortable and home-like vibe.It was arranged that secret alcoves provided room for lovers who wanted intimacy, or for workers who wanted nothing but to have a moment of peace. The Mist provided private rooms, for company meetings.

Yeosang spotted Youngmi talking to an elderly couple, she raised an eyebrow when she saw him. Talk to you later, that meant. He was almost late. Yeosang glanced at the large clock. He went quickly in the staff room getting his apron. He saluted his coworkers. In his locker, Yeosang found a hand written note on top of his apron.  
  
"There will be a special table at lunchtime. It's for you. Room 3. Four people."

  
Special table. Kyungtae would be at The Mist in less than two hours, probably with business partners in one of the private room. Yeosang was the only one with Youngmi to take care of service for this kind of occasion. Kyungtae only trusted them. He knew his mother would provide wise advices, and he knew Yeosang was smart enough to never take part in their conversation.

Lunchtime arrived quicker than Yeosang would have liked. The big clock in the Mist hit half past twelve. He served two customers' drinks, signaled to another waiter to take over and went directly to his locker. Yeosang changed his apron. He preferred the black one over the brown one for special service. The black apron meant he should not be disturbed during his service. The cooks always worked faster at the sight of the black apron. He grabbed four menus. Room 3. In less than ten minutes, Kyungtae would enter the private room. Yeosang knew Kyungtae's order by heart now, even his alcohol preference.

He always felt nervous at first with the special table. Not because of Kyungtae. Yeosang just never knew what to expect from the other part. From the business partners. From other men. They usually behaved in front of Kyungtae, but not always. Some enjoyed making remarks. Others took delight in destabilizing Yeosang.

Yeosang saw the bodyguards first. Five of them. Tall and broad, glancing at each others. He recognized Kyungtae's. Dohwa, one Yeosang knew, smiled at him. He inclined his head. Yeosang appreciated Dohwa. He was the nicest bodyguard he ever encountered, always polite and ready to help Yeosang. Yet, Yeosang has known better than messing with him. He knew why Dohwa was chosen to be one of Kyungtae's most faithful bodyguard. He checked him, looking for concealed weapons or drugs.

Yeosang waited a few seconds in front of room 3. He breathed in. Breathed out. Focus on the leather menus under his fingers. He stopped shaking years ago. He stopped being afraid. Growing up was a part of life. Yeosang learned this lesson when he was still young. As a shy boy, he was an easy pick for others to bully. "Yeosang, stop crying. Be a big boy," the worker at the orphanage has said to him once. He stopped crying years ago.

Sometimes, he did cry, but only with Youngmi when watching sad dramas on Sundays.

He knocked on the door, entered and bowed deeply. When he placed the menus on the round table, he observed the four men. Kyungtae had his right-hand with him, a younger half-Chinese man named Yue who put importance on courtesy. Yeosang recognised Mr Choi, an associate he has seen quite a few times. The last one, he could not identify who he was, but the prominent scars on his hands and mouth denoted some hardships in his life. He sneered at Yeosang. He mumbled something in chinese. The polite smile of Yue disappeared. Kyungtae laughed.

Yeosang recognised it as the 'not impressed laugh'. Kyungtae learned Chinese long ago and thus was fluent in it. Yeosang took their orders, got out. Except for the remarks in Chinese from Mr Song each time Yeosang was close to him, lunch was not that eventful. Yeosang's role was the one of a discreet waiter. Hear nothing. See nothing. And tell nothing.

  
“Mr Song, I would like to inform you that you've been insulting Mrs. Cheong's grandchild since the beginning of this lunch. Please refrain anymore comment,” Yue snapped when Yeosang brought them another bottle of wine.

  
The information took a few seconds to strike him. And then, Mr. Song realized he messed up. A creepy smile bloomed on Mr Choi's face. It did not leave his face until the end of lunch. Mr Choi and Mr Song left with their bodyguards. And the Chinese man glared at Yeosang. Kyungtae had a calm look. Yeosang could tell he made a good affair. Only five of them stood in front of room 3. Kyungtae dismissed Yue and his bodyguards, instructing them to wait in the car.

“Be careful of Song. He's an ungrateful bastard. Good weapon dealer. That's a pity he's such a displeasing man. Rotten man,” Kyungtae said right after Yue disappeared at the corner. “He'll get his hand on anything he can trade.”

  
Yeosang promised to be careful. If Yeosang could avoid Mr. Song at all cost, he would. He informed him about the three thugs who stopped him this morning. It was not unusual, but Kyungtae deserved to know what happen on his territory. Kyungtae stroked his shoulder.

  
“I'll send a few men. I don't know who, but someone is setting foot on my territory recently. I don't appreciate that,” Kyungtae stated. This did not reassure Yeosang. But he knew Kyungtae could be ruthless. He defended his family. And would do anything to keep them safe. He would probably kill his own men to protect his family. This thought gave Yeosang a way to feel safe. “Take care of you and my mom. I'll see you in a few days. Keep this room empty.”

Kyungtae left.

After the rush of lunchtime, Yeosang and Youngmi both took a break in her office. She served a cup of tea for both of them and leftovers from the kitchen. Fried chicken. It made Yeosang's day a whole way better. She asked about her son. She asked about the three men. She asked what they could cook tonight.

"I think honey would suit you, Sangie."

"Honey?"

She reached to his hair taking a strand between her fingers. His hair was a light brown at this moment. He liked it that way. Yeosang thought that honey would make him stand out more in a crowd. Yeosang enjoyed the tranquility of being able to blend in. It made him less vulnerable.

“It would bring out your eyes.”

And his _birthmark_. He replied he would think about it. He needed a haircut anyway. His hair was a bit long and his bang required a good cut, he could hide his eyes under. He let Youngmi arrange an appointment with one of her hairdresser friend. Even though he was still not sure about dying his hair honey. She was still on the phone when Yeosang changed back to his brown apron.

“Sangie, ex-cop is here,” she informed him.

Yeosang saw him every now and then. At least twice a week. Everytime this patron came, he stared at Yeosang with and intense gaze. Yeosang never understood why. He never confronted the man. He was on a polite ground. Not too close but not too far either. Yeosang found him nice. He was not a creep who tried to grope him or flirt. Sometimes, he left a tip. He just had a querying expression everytime he watched Yeosang. Nothing he could not deal with. Yeosang had seen worst, even on a daily basis.

  
One day, Youngmi dropped a file on her desk, during Yeosang's break. Taking his break in her office became a habit of his. "What's this?" he asked.

  
"About the man, the regular, the name's Kim Yonghwan. Used to be a cop."

  
"What kind of cop?"

  
"The kind you cannot bribe," she said with a smile. "Worked on some shitty cases too, he quitted six years ago. He went private and took a pseudonym. Eden is a bit tacky I think."

  
Yeosang was tempted to read the file. But he decided he was not worth it for now. This man was just a regular. As long as he didn't do anything foolish or dangerous, Yeosang would not be involved with him.

  
"I guess he could be trustworthy," he added. That, he believed in.

  
Youngmi had confessed to him that she would rather trust a cop that you couldn't buy rather than a dirty cop. "Loyalty and honor are in the heart of men, not in their pocket," she had laughed. "You follow someone because they inspire something in you. Be it fear, power, fame, honor or simply love. You're loyal to a cause because you believe in it."

  
Her son told him the same thing later. One time, when he was alone in one of the private rooms, waiting for a police chief. He also told Yeosang how much he warmed up to him over the years. He thanked him for taking care of his mother. How he was reassured that they were taking care of each other. He was only nineteen at this time. Only been with Youngmi for two years.

  
Youngmi was a protective grandmother. Youngmi even yelled at a man who tried to touch inappropriately Yeosang last week. She had screamed at the man with her clever in her hand. "I'll serve a soup with your hands in it!" Yeosang thought the man could win a running competition because of how fast he paid and ran away. They always paid before leaving. Youngmi could be terrifying, and having her threatening you was already scary, so they would not ever dare to leave without paying the old lady.

  
The faint lights of the afternoon reflected on the dark polished wood in the Mist. Yeosang was cleaning the tables. TV was on, like always. Yeosang didn't pay attention to it. It was background noise for him, only interested if Youngmi commented on an occurring event.

  
"Oh, poor kid" Yeosang heard her say softly. He looked up at the screen. TV news only barred bad news. Dreadful events. Some he did not want to hear about.

  
"A Child of Pan was found dead this morning. The police is investigating..."

  
A chilling sensation overflowed Yeosang limbs. He preferred to never talk about the Children of Pan. Because a lot of people thought he was one. And he was not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry, you'll see the others soon ;) I'll try working quickly on the next chapters! Have a good day, stay safe and healthy Atinys!  
> Don't hesitate to leave a comment to try to guess which superpowers they might have, or kudos~


	2. You're gonna stop there?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for the comments and kudos ! I wouldn't be able to write this quickly without the quarantine. Stay safe everyone !  
> Hope you'll like this chapter :)

The sky was gloomy. Yeosang looked at the clouds. Snow was falling slowly. Yeosang realised he didn't feel the cold on his face. He could not feel anything beside the soft grass under his feet. He didn't know how he ended up walking on a path. Barefoot. Everything was dark around him, a dense forest where he wasn't able to see through. Something was following him in the shadows of the trees. Lurking, far but always present. Yeosang stopped to observe the forest, he knew the presence was not dangerous. Just there. So he kept going on the soft grass path. He arrived in a clearing full a sand. In front of him, a massive ship laid there, her hull ripped apart. She felt ancient. Waiting for him. Masts broken. Forever cursed with immobility.

Yeosang could see the decaying wood, the moss inside the large ship, the burned parts. She was a true beauty. She would have been beautiful on the sea. Or on the clouds, he thought. The snow was slowly turning grey like the sky. A stranger stood in front of the ship. Snow clashed against his short red hair. Yeosang walked to stand side by side with the stranger. He extended his hands trying to catch the snow. The snow kept turning darker and darker. It leaved marks on the stranger's hands.

Snow became ashes.

"Who... Who are you?" Yeosang heard his own voice, a bit raspy. No sound left his mouth, like his thoughts escaped out of his head.

The stranger flinched. He looked at Yeosang. Ashes stained his right cheek like tears. The stranger said something but Yeosang could not hear him. His lips moved but no sound reached Yeosang. The stranger frowned. He tried speaking once more. But he did not move, staying there, with hands so full of ashes now it overflowed. He seems frustrated with himself. Yeosang saw him sigh then look back at the ship. He was about to speak when a voice giggled.

"Silence never represents an option for you."

Yeosang woke up, dawn barely there, the soft morning lights streaming between the curtains. He closed his eyes. Breathed in. Breathed out very slowly.

He hated these kinds of dreams. He never grasped their meaning. Because they didn't feel just like dreams. They felt like memories. And memories were tricky little things. Fickle. Easy to forget. Easy to manipulate. Yeosang lost a part of his own memory. He never knew why or how.

Yeosang tried going back to sleep but the vivid dream still occupied his thoughts. He kept seeing the ship. And the face of the stranger. He let out a long sigh. He wanted to sleep longer this sunday morning, but the death of another child of Pan seemed to preoccupy him unconsciously even though he would prefer this matter to stay out of his mind. In Korea, not a lot of these children, now adults, remained. Yeosang grabbed his phone, seeing how early he woke up, he sighed again.

Eight years ago, hundreds of children and teenagers reappeared from nowhere around the world. Nobody knew from where they came back. The media named them Children of Pan. His name was a reoccuring topic when the children and teenagers talked, and maybe the fairytale was not that far from reality. They all shared the same characteristics: all of them got kidnapped or were lost at the age of five or six, their memories between their abduction and their return were gone, somewhere on their body they bore a mark. And they all possessed powers.

The world was not ready for them.

Yeosang's amnesia never benefited him when he explained he wasn't a child of Pan. When he found himself at fifteen, in front of his orphanage, missing for five years and no idea what happened during those years, he understood why they did not want him back. They never declared him as missing, just dead. They just gave him a bit of money, said good luck and that was it.

Yeosang rolled out of bed, grateful it was Sunday. He dragged his feet to the bathroom, cleansing his face. He finished by cold water to wake him up. He glanced at the big clock in the living room, waking up before nine o'clock should be illegal on sundays. Youngmi was already up, sitting on the couch in her blue pyjamas, changing the channels on the TV. She settled on a music program.

She smiled gently when she saw him. "Sangie, you're up early! Your hair's mess. There are leftovers in the refrigerator, can you bring them to me, please."

He nodded, he didn't want to speak right now. He grabbed a bowl from the closet, put cereal then milk in it. He got the leftovers for Yougmi and sat next to her, giving her breakfast. She arranged her hair in a low bun, with grey strands escaping the tie. They ate in silence, the music program almost as background noise.

The sweet smell of vanilla filled the room. Youngmi adored scented candles, and she always lit them in the living room or the kitchen. Youngmi decorated their kitchen with warm colors, dark woods and deep red cupboards. Youngmi let Yeosang furnish his bedroom as he wished and always solicited him his advices if she wanted to replace something in their home. She purchased this small house years ago, they could have something bigger. Youngmi was rich after all and her son a mafia lord. But the tiny house satisfied them. A bigger place would be a hassle. Youngmi cherished simple things. She enjoyed a small functional house more than a castle. It was easier to protect if attacked. They possessed everything they needed. It was home for Yeosang.

It calmed Yeosang, but he still felt nervous from the dream, like he had too much pent up energy. Yeosang would take his skateboard this afternoon, ride in the street. It was a trick he learned years ago. Skateboarding helped him getting rid of his anger, of too much energy, of his anxiety. He ended up skating the rest of the afternoon. Youngmi frowned when he untied his shoes in the entrance, and Yeosang shrugged. "Just a bad dream."

Two weeks passed, orange and red colored the trees. He tried shaking the feeling of being followed, but Yeosang couldn't. He had no new informations from Kyungtae, and it started to worry him. He sent him a message, but it was still unread. Kyungtae was likely taken by more urgent matters. One morning, Yeosang accused the cute tabby cat he saw sometimes on his way to work.

"It's you who are following me right?" he asked petting its fur. The cat seemed offended, meowed at him and went on its way.

Yeosang distracted himself with work. Seeing new faces amongst the young adults in The Mist was rare, so today was a bit special for Yeosang. An attractive young man he's never seen just sat at a table, one in the alcoves, hidden from the rest of the restaurant. Yeosang had fought Yeri, a coworker he was friend with, at rock-paper-scissors to be able to be his waiter. He lost to her. She made a little victory dance and a cheery smile at Yeosang. They always bickered for cute clients when they knew Youngmi was staying in his office for the day. The man reminded Yeosang of the dragon Toothless in a way with his jet-black hair and how he looked at his phone, frowning while reading. He raised his head, placing the phone on the table. His eyes caught Yeosang's but Yeri approached him to take his order, he focused on her. Their exchange didn't last long, and Yeri's smile faded instantly when she turned back. She handed him his order.

"He asked for you," her shoulders dropped.

"You'll be lucky next time," he smiled at her, patting her shoulder.

He only ordered a hot chocolate. Yeosang delivered him his order, and he put a cookie as a little gift, assuming the guy had a sweet tooth. Yeosang smiled at the client. He was even better-looking closer. Yeosang winked at him, "it's on the house."

"...Thanks. Hum... I know, it might sound strange but can I talk with you? If you have a break soon or just a bit of time," he asked.

"Oh, hum, I can take a break in twenty minutes," Yeosang was taken aback by this request, but he would not miss his chance to speak with this charming man. He waved shyly at him going back to work. Yeri grinned at Yeosang.

When Yeosang came back, the man seemed to be looking at messages on his phone again. He put the phone back on the table, but didn't lock it, displaying his background. Yeosang saw the picture of two young men smiling, the client and a familiar red hair man. And then it hit Yeosang. _The stranger in his dream_. How could this be possible? It had to be a coincidence. Yeosang knew coincidence could happen but not this type. Shivers made his hands tremble, he concealed them into his sleeves and sat abruptly. He had no time for bullshit. The sudden change of Yeosang demeanor must have startled the client, incomprehension in his eyes.

"I need explanations. Now. Who are you? Don't lie to me."

"My name's Park Seonghwa," he started in a low voice, a forced half smile on his face. "I'm a... uuh, let me show you."

Seonghwa rolled up his sleeve. On his forearm, from his wrist to his elbow circled like a snake a wide scar similar to a weird blueish bruise. _Child of Pan_. Yeosang stopped breathing.

"Cover that you damn idiot!" Yeosang whispered sharply, while Seonghwa rolled down his sleeve.

"I'm not an idiot," he pouted, offended. "It's just who I am. And I believe in you because you're one of us. I trust Eden's judgement about you."

Yeosang could cry at this point. And maybe rip Seonghwa apart before. Yeosang played with his sleeves to calm down. _Breath in. Breath out_. The whole world seemed against Yeosang currently. Feel like he could not have a simple day. A simple life even though he tried so hard. Going to work, listening to hip-hop songs on his phone. Going out sometimes with the few friends he had. Heading home to his grandmother and complaining about rude clients with her while she grumbled about a recently dead dumb man who betrayed her son. Well, an almost ordinary life. The mafia part wasn't the most conventional, but Yeosang stayed away from all of Kyungtae's affairs. Apparently, he must have done something terrible in his previous life to deserve all this mess.

"Listen to me carefully, I will not repeat myself. I'm not one of you. Never been. Now, get out."

"No. I'm here for a reason."

"No? Let me resume it to you. You walk here, trusting a man who never even talked to me. And even if he's a detective, he can't collect much info on me. But I hope he's smart enough to notify you I'm under the Cheong clan's protection and that you know what it means. As someone like you, you really must have a good reason to be here."

Seonghwa looked seriously taken aback. Putting his hands aroung his cold cup, he sighed deeply.

"Is is so hard to believe I'm here for you?"

"Yes."

Seonghwa winced. Yeosang suspected Seonghwa was not expecting this blatant rejection, but that did not dissuade him apparently, because now determination laced Seonghwa's voice.

"You are Kang Yeosang. Cheong Youngmi adopted you after you had spent two years homeless. You only have a five-years memory loss where I miss more than ten years of my life. I'm not the only one who trust Eden's words about you. There are others like me, like you. You are one of us."

"How could you trust something that's not even true?"

"You've dreamt of him, right? The one in the picture with me," Seonghwa showed him his phone.

Yeosang froze. How did the stranger know? Anger slowly filled Yeosang, like a raging fire in his stomach. He grabbed his coin under his sweater. It was too much for Yeosang to deal with today, his nerves burning under his skin. Air stuck in his throat as he stared too long at the picture of the red hair man. He looked exactly like in his dream, but he was smiling.

"So, I'm correct. This is why I trust Eden. And because he dreamt about you too," he tapped his screen pointing the red hair man. "We all have, at some point, and we've never seen your face before. Not until Eden talked about you and..."

"Fuck off," hissed Yeosang. "Never contact me again."

Yeosang left the table. His legs knew the way towards Youngmi's office. _Breath in. Breath out_. He felt like gasping for air. Yeosang heard Yeri asked what happened but did not stop in his track. Yeosang spent the whole day in Youngmi's office pouring his heart out, wishing this never happened. He emptied her box of tissue, and she soothed him with sweet words and his favorite biscuits. Yeri told him days later that Seonghwa looked like a kicked puppy when he left. _Good._ Yeosang never wanted to see him ever again.

To Yeosang's dismay, the dreams came back.

The stranger in the dreams came back too. Not the ship this time. It was an old library. Ashes were still falling from the sky. Inside the library, the ceiling resembling the same gloomy sky as in his last dream. Ashes coated the books, the tables. Bookshelves reached the ceiling and the top disappeared inside the sky. The stranger was laying down on the ground, eyes fixed on the ceiling. Shattered glass laid in front of the immense broken windows. Yeosang could see nothing but the dark forest outside. Goosebumps ran down Yeosang's spine. The library had an eerie atmosphere.

Yeosang grabbed a book from one table. He sat on the ground, not far from the stranger but still out of reach. Opening the book, he noticed wounds on his hands. Bloodstained fingers dripping on the pages, he started turning them without feeling any pain. The book was empty, all the blank pages now filled with bloody fingerprints. He didn't know how long he stayed there. Yeosang's fingers would not stop bleeding on the paper, and he went through three empty books. Yeosang wondered if it felt like being a ghost haunting a place. He heard a giggle. He looked up, closed his book. Another giggle. The stranger didn't move, laying motionless like he was deaf, his eyes still glued on the ceiling.

The giggle echoed in the library. Was he the only one to hear this laugh? The giggle persisted and Yeosang saw the stranger closed his eyes then covered his ears with his hands. Yeosang walked towards the stranger, crouched next to him. He opened his eyes. His intense glare seemed to pierce into Yeosang's soul, he inhaled to speak. Yeosang put a finger on the stranger's lips, shushing him, leaving blood on his lips. The laugh seemed distant now. Almost like it never happened.

When Yeosang woke up, he almost threw his pillow across the room, frustrated. Because he did not want them. Those dreams. He hated waking up feeling like he missed something he knew long ago but could not remember.

He had them once, younger. Mainly, nightmares of being killed. After being thrown away by the orphanage, sleep was never easy, especially in the street. And when sleep finally came, nightmares woke him, leaving him shivering in fear. They calmed down at some point, but Yeosang still loathed them. Youngmi had helped him so much to get rid of his nightmares, and this was something Yeosang could never repay entirely. He owed her so much.

His memory of how he met Youngmi had stayed so distinct in his mind. She was only an elderly lady who helped him. He remembered his busted lips bleeding on his shirt after an ugly fight. Yeosang didn't understand why he felt so much power from her. Maybe because at this moment, she had been the one with power over him. Over his life. He recalled every single word she had said that night.

"Where do you come from, boy?" she had asked.

"No where."

"And where are you going?"

The words almost didn't reach her ears. He spoke so softly, a breathy whisper. "No where."

That night, she had tended to his wounds with gentle hands. She had never expected him to offer something back. He had fallen asleep in a bed for the first time in forever. And nightmares became dreams in soft pillows.

One week after Seonghwa's visit at The Mist, Yeosang found Eden waiting at the counter. He came earlier than his habit. One of the waiters told Yeosang that Eden requested him today. He could feel the gaze of Eden more than usual. He really did not need this right now. However, Yeosang read the file in Youngmi's office. All of it. He was prepared for this conversation. Eden showed one of the secret tables. Yeosang shook his head. "We'll go into a private room."

Eden seemed surprise. He regained his self-control in a matter of seconds and followed Yeosang. He offered Eden's something to drink and went to prepare two cups of coffee. Yeosang hoped it wouldn't be a long discussion. Yeosang needed the coffee more than anything. He passed Yeri in a hallway and told her he was in a private room if Youngmi called for him. Yeosang brought back the coffee and closed the door behind him.

"I'm sorry," Eden said while Yeosang put down the cups on the table. He appreciated the coziness of the first private room. This was his territory right now. Eden was the stranger Yeosang allowed here for now. He could send him away if he wanted, just like he did with Seonghwa. Yeosang sat in front of Eden. It was a first for Yeosang. Eden never really talked to him beside his usual order. Yeosang waited for him to elaborate, raising an eyebrow.

"For Seonghwa. I didn't think he'd came to see you. I never allowed them to come here, and this is why I'm sorry. It will not happen again."

Eden replaced a long strand of hair behind his ear, maybe waiting for Yeosang's answer. _Them_.

"Because there's more than one?"

Yeosang already knew this. Seonghwa slipped this information last week. Eden's file also contained the fact that he lived with other children of Pan. As far as he was concerned, Yeosang was really trying to understand how he could be involved in all of this mess. He understood he dreamt about one of Eden's protegé, but where was Yeosang's place? They've dreamt about him too and this unsettled Yeosang. He was already tired of this.

"Yes." A pause. At least, Yeosang liked Eden's calm tone.

"Let's be honest here. You're a former cop who's a private detective now and I'm the grandson of a former mafia ruler, and the current mafia lord is her son. As a detective, you must know this," Yeosang saw Eden nod, then continued. "I'm aware you've helped many children of Pan while you were a police officer years ago, but I really don't know where I take part into all of this. So please, help me put the pieces together."

"Seems like someone did his homework. You know why I helped those kids then."

Yeosang knew too well now. Reading what happened to those kids filled Yeosang with sadness, anger and disgust for the human kind. No one expected children and teenagers with powers, not even the families who were reunited with their lost kid. The powers seemed surreal at first, nobody really believed in it, then it sank in. Feared was the unknown. The unknown terrified many people. And people did not react well to the unknown.

It could have been kept a secret from everyone. It was at the beginning, the first months. A lot of families were just grateful to have their son or daughter back, persuaded they were dead or lost forever. Nothing remained a secret long. They started getting reported by neighbors, by family friends. Some kids were killed. And the scandal lead to a global panic. The Korean secret services knew about those kids not long after they came back. They already had taken measures about them.

Unfortunately, at this time, corruption ran deep within the police and the army. A lot of kids disappeared again. The lucky ones had a chance to a new life.

Yeosang read all of this in Eden's file. And this is where Eden's role started. He was friend with a man called Maddox in the secret service. Maddox trusted Eden enough to take care of those kids, to find them a good home or a way to survive on their own. This is how Eden ended up with several teenagers under his wing. The file didn't contain more informations about them.

"You all seem so sure I'm one of them. I'm not. This," Yeosang showed his eye, "is just a birthmark. Never had powers. Never been kidnapped at five."

"But you went missing at ten. Maybe you don't possess powers, but there's still something about you. Maybe I'm wrong because I can't pinpoint exactly what it is. I'm still sorry for the trouble caused by Seonghwa. He shouldn't have told you about the dreams. But try to understand them at least. They're trying to find meaning in their life when half of it is lost, when they have nothing left but themselves. They all dream about the same person they've never seen in their life and a few months later, they see your picture on my kitchen counter. If you had the chance to find out just why you dream about this stranger, wouldn't you do the same?"

 _Yes_ , his mind screamed.

"No," he said.

A part of him knew he was lying. The fire of curiosity burned inside him. Why would they dream about him? It made no sense to Yeosang, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know for now. Yeosang needed time to process, to sort what he learned.

"Please do not bother me again."

Eden headed out without another word. Yeosang knew Eden did not tell him everything. Something was missing. This was way too sudden. Eden spent months at The Mist, never bothering Yeosang more than a few intense glazes. And in less than a month, Eden and Seonghwa meddled in his life. Yeosang was conflicted between wanting to know more and throwing all away, forgetting them, what they've told him. Something was definitely missing. Feeling like sitting in front of a giant puzzle, Yeosang tried to match the pieces. But he knew the game was lost from the beginning. Half of the pieces were missing. From his side. From Eden's side.

"Always trust your guts feeling, Sangie," Kyungtae had advised him.

And if Yeosang trusted something, it was his instinct.

Yeosang was glad he didn't see Eden nor Seonghwa at The Mist for more than a week. Sitting in Youngmi's office to eat, he appreciated the peaceful quiet. He needed it to be able to sort his thoughts. He had petted the cute tabby cat this morning. His last dream was about how he became friends with a giant cake and they created drones out of chopsticks and frosting. Yeosang still waited to hear from Kyungtae, he sent him another message.

"A very pretty boy left you something,” Youngmi told him entering her office, holding a beautiful red carnation and a letter attached to it. "It was this Seonghwa. I might have threatened him. Should I throw it?"

"I'll do it," he simply said. "Maybe, I'll burn it or roll over it a thousand times with my skate board."

Youngmi laughed and it warmed Yeosang's heart. She would always have his back. She described what she told Seonghwa, how many fingers she'll cut and how she would choke him with them if he hurt Yeosang.

Yeosang waited to be home to read the note Seonghwa left for him. It contained a number and a short letter, written by hand. Yeosang sat at his desk. Before opening it he had staked more than three hours outside, while the sunset gleamed on the sky coloring the whole street a warm orange. Yeosang came home only when he could see his breath causing condensation in the cold air. It helped him to find the courage to read Seonghwa's letter. This was another part of the puzzle. Yeosang inhaled deeply and opened it.

"Kang Yeosang,

This might be weird and akward, writing to you after hearing about you for more than a year now. And after finally meeting you. Maybe you won't read these words after how we met, but I needed putting my thoughts on paper. I think you are questionning yourself and what's happening right now: like how could have I known that you've dreamt about Hongjoong (because the man you've dreamt of is Kim Hongjoong). How can I know you're one of us. And why we've dreamt about you. Why I trusted you with my mark. Hongjoong is one of us. There's eight of us, including me and Eden. And all of us wish to meet you.

And now that I've seen you, I know you're one of us too. I feel so sure about this. Eden forbade us to see or contact you again. He has doubts. About you. Still has them. He thinks you're one of us, but not... complete. I should not tell you this, but I feel you have the right to know. Eden's powers permit him to detect other people like us, but not only that. But that's not me who should be telling you this.

We might have found a way to bring our memories back. I left you my number. I really hope you'll contact me. I'll tell you everything.

Park Seonghwa."

Yeosang stayed at his desk, head in his hand for a while. His logic told him he shouldn't contact Seonghwa, that he should not involve himself more than he already was. _Back off_. But his instinct were screaming at him to call Seonghwa. It took Yeosang years to accept the fact that his memories were lost. He could live without those memories. They didn't define who he was. He was Kang Yeosang. He lost five years of memories. He never had powers. He was a waiter at The Mist, restaurant owned by his adoptive grandmother.

But they kept telling him otherwise. Eden would not be at The Mist so often for nothing. Seonghwa would not have disobey Eden's order for nothing. He would not have written this letter for nothing.

Yeosang was not nothing. What would it cost him to be curious?

Yeosang took his phone. _'You better be right about this',_ he texted Seonghwa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tbh, if Seonghwa had not eaten the cookie, Yeosang would probably had taken it back.


	3. The witch in the Garden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the past week, my brain would not switch to english. Like, "hey, only your mother tongue and sometimes latin."  
> But hey, the new chapter is finally here !

Yeosang knocked on her bedroom door one night, days later. He knew Youngmi wasn't asleep. It was still too early for bedtime and light passed under her door. Youngmi had been relatively quiet about what happened this past month. About Seonghwa or even Eden. She had been here for him after his meeting with Seonghwa. She had listened to him without questions when he related his encounter with Eden. Yeosang didn't explain anything. Yet. He needed to tell her. Keeping her in the dark felt wrong. They always had been honest and open with each other. She looked at him, closing her book.

"I'm going to see Seonghwa in four days."

Youngmi tapped on her comforter, placing her book on the nightstand. Yeosang sat at the end of the bed. After Eden's passage at The Mist, she forced Yeosang to take days off, to clear his head, she had said. The Mist didn't lack waiters, and Kyungtae was out of the country for two or three weeks.

"I thought you didn't want to see them again. What made you change your mind?"

"The letter," he got it out of his pocket and handed it to Youngmi.

The letter he did not burn like he said to her. She read it in silence. Yeosang played with his pyjama sleeves. He wanted her to know. She handed back the letter. Yeosang thought she looked like a really kind grandma, with her grey hair in a bun and her glasses and her blue pyjamas. But he knew she was hiding throwing knives under her bed and in the right nightstand, a loaded handgun.

"Where are you going to see this Park Seonghwa?"

"At his apartment. Why are you agreeing to this?"

"Because I believe sometimes you have to sort things by yourself. This is your life, Sangie. And this seems important to you somehow," she declared. "As long as you're not in danger."

Yeosang adored her. He thought she would have argued more or even stopped him. He cried more during this last month than this whole year. He knew she would not lock him up, this wasn't her style. She threatened what could hurt Yeosang but always let him go through his own experience.

"Don't you think it's strange? The dreams? Everything?"

"Well, with children of Pan, you learn to expect the unexpectable," she simply laughed.

She talked like she spent time with children of Pan. Like she didn't hear about them only on the TV or on the radio. Yeosang was not an idiot. She knew something he didn't.

"It's not the first time you meet one of them, right?"

Youngmi's smile did not reach her eyes, and her tone was serious. "No, it's not."

Yeosang knew when he shouldn't ask more. He had read Eden's file, and he knew kids disappeared due to corruption. He recognised a few names of other mafia gangs in the file. He was convinced the Cheong clan managed to get a hand on one, but Yeosang couldn't interrogate Youngmi about this topic. He would be overstepping the boundary they set about mafia affairs. Curiosity devoured him but Yeosang bit his lips to prevent his questions from spilling.

"I'll ask around for the dreams if it means something," she said, taking her book back. "You'll tell me about your meet up, Sangie. Bring your knife. I don't know why, but I can't collect info on them."

Yeosang recognised her nervousness. For her, security depended on the knowledge she could gather. He placed his hand on hers. "I'll be careful, I promise."

They wished goodnight to each other. Yeosang got back to his bedroom, apprehension eating him inside. Youngmi never encountered troubles getting information she wanted. They apparently possessed a way to protect themselves, and that would not surprise Yeosang. He had his own ways too. Laying on his bed, Yeosang grabbed his coin. He never removed it. He belonged. It shined between his fingers, and he kissed it. He whispered a prayer for himself only. "Please, don't let me stray too far."

The four days passed briefly. Yeosang entered the address Seonghwa's gave him in his GPS app. Seonghwa texted him how they all lived at Eden's place. Their place was not that far from The Mist actually, between home and the restaurant. He took the subway to get there, he chose one of his favorite red and green hoodie, one that swallowed his body and hands. It soothed him. Following the indications, he found himself in front of a modern building, at least ten floor high, and didn't know which name he should look into the interphone.

He hesitated. Yeosang knew they would be alone. Seonghwa had asked him if he wanted to meet the others, but Yeosang refused. Uncertainty still running in Yeosang's mind. It would be easier to walk away right now with only meeting Seonghwa and Eden. Despite this, Yeosang was curious about Hongjoong, but Seonghwa said he was working on a case with Eden at that moment. He was curious about the others but not ready to meet them, especially all at once.

 _Breathe in. Breathe out_. Yeosang sent another text to Seonghwa informing him he arrived. He waited only five minutes when he saw Seonghwa getting out of the elevator through the clear lobby doors. He waved at Yeosang, a nervous smile on his face. His tense smile didn't feel like a surprise to Yeosang. After all, he insulted him last time. Although they texted a bit, they didn't share more than planning their meet up. Seonghwa wore black pants with a beige pullover. It wasn't fair to look like a runway model like that, Yeosang thought. Seonghwa opened the door, slightly bending, and Yeosang saw a glimpse of his collarbones.

"I texted the address to Youngmi and Kyungtae's bodyguards. They know where you live," Yeosang said showing his phone, smiling back. He was lying for the bodyguards, only Youngmi knew their address.

"Good evening to you too. Your hoodie's nice," Seonghwa complimented. "We live on the last floor."

Yeosang followed Seonghwa. They passed a security guard in the lobby Yeosang didn't notice at first. He nodded at the sight of Seonghwa. In the elevator, Seonghwa entered a code on the control panel before pushing the floor number eleven. Yeosang tried to remember the code but Seonghwa had been too fast. He got nothing but the first three of the seven numbers. The silence between them was awkward, so thick that Yeosang thought about cutting it with the switchblade inside his back pocket. He didn't realise he stopped breathing when he inhaled sharply, hearing the ting of the elevator.

"We occupy the whole floor," Seonghwa said as he entered a new code into the digital panel right beside the door. "And the roof. I'll show it to you later."

Yeosang got the whole code this time as it was only five numbers. Youngmi trained him to remember sequence of numbers. It could always be useful, and Yeosang already used it twice in the past. Seonghwa opened the door. Yeosang never saw that many shoes at one place, but the entrance hall was very tidy, every pair in place. Seonghwa handed him a pair of slippers.

"Do you want to drink something? Coffee? Tea? I'm not a big fan of coffee, but I can make a decent one," he offered.

"Coffee's perfect."

The living room was vast and full of plants, but all the green leaves had a red tint which Yeosang found odd. Similar to the entrance hall, the living room was tidy and clean. No mess on the coffee table or on the ground. Their grey couch could fit ten persons at least. Yeosang asked himself how they could afford all of this. The whole floor. This huge apartment. All the modern furnitures. The open kitchen was spotless, colored in various shades of blue. It reminded Yeosang of ocean waves. Big pots of red ivy were suspended from the ceiling, near the cupboards, half cascading on it. On the white kitchen counter, a big cat was sleeping.

"Yunho, get off the counter! I better not see dirty paws on the couch!" Seonghwa berated the cat.

The cat opened an eye, flicking his ears then stretched on the counter. And Yeosange recognised him immediatly. This was the cute tabby cat he petted on his way to work. Seonghwa got two cups out, still mumbling about the cat.

"I knew you were following me somehow," he whispered to Yunho when he passed him.

The cat lazily made his way to the couch, going back to sleep on one of the big pillows. Seonghwa placed a cup of warm coffee in front of Yeosang, on the kitchen counter. They sat on the stools in front of each other. Yeosang circled the cup, the warmth spreading through his hands. It soothed him. Yeosang felt out of place but his mind was buzzing with questions. "You said you might have found a way for your memories."

"It's more a lead than a real way."

"So you have nothing."

"Not nothing. Dreams are a form of lead," Seonghwa protested.

Yeosang wasn't sure how his dream about the giant cake could be a lead to anything. But he thought about the rain of ashes. How he saw Hongjoong. How they dreamt of him even when they never saw him before. Maybe Seonghwa was right, but Yeosang was not completely convinced. He needed more informations. "So, you're looking for other children of Pan for your little dream club."

"We... we don't use this term. Between us," Seonghwa grimaced.

"Dream club?"

"Children of Pan."

Yeosang frowned, waiting for Seonghwa to elaborate.

"I mean, we're not kids anymore. It's better than people calling us monster, but it just don't fit right."

"I'll keep calling you the dream club for now."

That made Seonghwa smile. That made Yeosang slightly panic inside. He drank his coffee, focusing on the big bouquet of red roses in the vase next to him. Seonghwa was really an attractive man.

"So, Yeosang, tell me, what do you know about us, _the dream club_?"

Besides what everyone knew already: powers, missing memories, marks, missing kids. Not that much. Reading Eden's file informed him about how the government dealt with them but not entirely. Yeosang heard so many rumors about children of Pan that he simply didn't want to believe anything that didn't come out of one of them now. Seonghwa stood up. "Let me take you to the roof. I'll show you something."

Yeosang followed him through a hallway, there were pictures hung on the walls. Yeosang did not stop looking at them; Seonghwa walked faster than him with his long legs. They climbed a spiral staircase at the end of the hallway that led to the roof. The sudden sunlight blinded Yeosang, and it required him a full minute to adjust. They had transformed the roof into a greenhouse. The garden looked enchanting, full of red flowers and lush vegetations. It reminded those fairy garden Yeosang saw on Instagram. The red roses looked like velvet, just like Seonghwa's lips. "Wanna know what's my power?"

Yeosang nodded.

"I can control any plants I want," Seonghwa explained, touching one of the rose's thorns. Another rose bloomed from the tiny bead of blood on Seonghwa's finger. "But I have to use my blood. This is my compensation."

"Compensation?"

"I forget you don't have power. For us to use our powers, there's a compensation. Not everyone has the same. Mine's mainly blood."

"So you probably always have a knife on you."

Yeosang was hypocrite right now. The knife was in his own pocket. Seonghwa did not deny. But Yeosang thought about the red flower with the letter, almost certainly a blood flower from his power. Their powers came with a price. To employ them, they all had a price to pay. Magic left you ravenous in weird ways.

"Does your body do photosynthesis?"

This seemed like a absurd question, but Yeosang was curious. Seonghwa avoided his eyes. "Huum, in a way, yes."

Yeosang imagined Seonghwa basking in the sun like a big lizard. Seonghwa told him about his garden, how it was his favorite place. He showed Yeosang around, walking on the stone path. All his plants. How it took him years to grow that much flowers and create this garden. The plants in their living room were a product of Seonghwa's powers too. Yeosang felt calmer the more Seonghwa talked about his plants. The sat on a wood bench, enjoying the soft lights of the afternoon. Yeosang's coffee was probably cold at this point on the kitchen counter downstairs. Maybe the cat went back to his place, beside the cup.

"Today I was half certain you wouldn't come despite my letter. Or that your grandmother would not let you," Seonghwa said.

Yeosang smiled fondly. "She's just protective."

"I know she adopted you when you were homeless. But how did you end up working for the mafia?"

"I don't take part in their affairs."

Seonghwa took a deep breath, like relieved. "When Eden said you were with a mafia family, we feared you got sold or worst. It had happened before you know."

Yeosang didn't want to speak more about his link to the Cheong Clan. Not with Seonghwa. He touched the coin under his hoodie. This was his own story but Eden revealed already too much. He took it from Yeosang. The right to his own secrets. They didn't need to know how Youngmi found him. They knew more about Yeosang than him about them. He cut Seonghwa, changing the subject. "When did you dream of me for the first time?"

"Two years ago, almost three," Seongwha replied, a tad surprised by the sudden change. "You know... Eden finding you was unintentional. He's seeking others, with his connections and his power. But you were unexpected, a coincidence. And his power didn't help him for the first time. You were a mystery. Still are."

Yeosang did not reply. Dreaming of a stranger must have been disorienting, especially this long. Yeosang dreamt about Honjoong only twice and it felt like too much. However, seeing that Yeosang was real must have felt like relief. He no longer represented the dream ghost they all chased. As much as he wanted to ask Seonghwa about Eden's power, it felt inappropriate. It had to come from Eden.

"And despite that are you still sure I'm one of you?"

"Even if some part match and others don't, you're linked to us. Because you feel like the others when I met them for the first time. Like I recognised you from before."

 _Like breathing again after drowning_ , Yeosang thought. Like he finally got back something he didn't know he was missing the whole time. Seonghwa hesitated. "Next week. Come back if you want. For dinner. Maybe you can meet some of us, the dream club."

It took Yeosang two tries to get the words out. "I'd like that."

He dreamt this night.

Ashes rained down from the sky again. Yeosang was right in front of the ship. He looked around him. The clearing was quiet and he was alone. Yeosang could not even feel the presence he felt last time in the forest but something was calling him inside the ship, like a pull deep in his chest. He entered the ship by the broken bilge, stepping over wood debris. He was still barefoot. He stopped for a second, adjusting to the faint light. Outside, the ash rain ceased the moment he entered, ashes in the air like time itself stopped. It looked surreal but felt normal for Yeosang.

He could hear the wood creaking under his steps. Yeosang left footprints on the ashes on the ground. Because the ship was inclined, Yeosang walked on the walls or the bulkheads. Curiously, he found no sand inside the ship. Just ashes. He sensed like something was waiting for him in the captain's cabin. He needed to reach it. He climbed every deck. He climbed over rusted canons that still smelled like gun powder. He climbed every stair, careful of broken steps. Yeosang had to squeeze through holes, slither between broken boards.

Yeosang finally arrived at the captain's cabin. A goat skull decorated the door, horns adorned with lilies of the valley. When, he opened the door everything was in place. Like frozen in time. Like the ship was not even inclined on her side. Yeosang could walk on a flat surface again. The stain-glass windows let through a colorful glow on the room. The captain's cabin resembled the old library. Bookcases full of ancient literature. Words he could not read as if they blended together. The golden letters on the book's spine shined like tiny treasures. Yeosang let his fingers slide on the books. Yeosang turned to examine the desk in the middle of the Captain's cabin.

The wood desk was a work of art. Carved mermaids as corners, drawers with intricate gold handles, the tail of a sea serpent circling the feet. It looked pristine, like no one ever used it. The spyglass on top seemed untouched, brand new, just like the old globe embellished with gold and leather. The ink bottles still full and paper scrolls waiting to be used. The chair matched the desk with the carved mermaids on the armrests and the green velvet looked so soft. Yeosang sat on it. It felt like his right place, like this place yearned for his return.

Yeosang didn't dare to touch anything on the desk, but something about the globe disturbed him. It wasn't the earth like he knew it. Another map was drawn on it. Another world. Far more smaller. He reached to it, turning it to examine the strange map when he realised his fingers were bloody. Did he cut himself while climbing? They left fingerprints on the globe. He quickly inspected his hands, but there was no trace of wounds. The blood was not his own. Yeosang's heart ached.

The pain woke him up. Yeosang still hated those dreams. He examined his hands. No blood. He was back into reality. He reached for his phone, opening the note app. He started to write his dream. Seonghwa had asked him to keep track of his dreams, to share with the others. Maybe Yeosang was not ready to share them, not yet. But he could write them down. Keep them for himself first, his secrets.

Yeosang occupied his days by watching the rerun of an old drama Youngmi liked. Getting fresh air by skating in his street. His phone woke him up early this morning. Yeosang read the text twice before finally replying. Eden asked him if they could see each other in a coffee and Yeosang accepted. He had asked Yeri to come with him shopping this afternoon, to find a birthday present for Kyungtae. Yeosang didn't know what to gift him. He had an idea but was still unsure. They would meet near The Mist and go into a big shopping mall. He could see Eden before joining Yeri.

The tiny coffee shop Eden chose was cute, full of pastel colors and plants. The peaceful atmosphere suited Eden, Yeosang thought. He saluted Yeosang when he saw him. The blackeye on Eden's face looked almost healed, already turning a shade of green and yellow. Eden looked young, even with his blackeye, and Yeosang couldn't really place his age. He forgot to read his birth year on his file. Yeosang wanted to know about how the blackeye happened, but he chose not to ask.

"You surprised me, I admit," Eden said. "I thought you didn't want to see us."

"Seonghwa told me about your power and their dreams of me," Yeosang said, half whispered.

"Gosh, he's not the talkative one usually," Eden sighed closing his eyes.

"So how does your power work? Does it work like a metal detector?"

It made Eden chuckle. But he started explaining. Eden's power worked indeed in a similar way. He could detect any children of Pan. They just felt different to him, like a cold breeze on a hot summer. But he used his power onto ordinary people too, Eden could pick up strong emotions, some traumas, previous experiences, by being close to them or a simple touch.

"What about your compensation?"

"I used to have one. At first, but it disappeared with time."

Yeosang thought about Eden's power, about Eden's past. Something was odd. When did Eden get his power? In his file, him missing was never mentioned. He had been a police officer when the children of Pan returned. How was he one of them? Yeosang's mind was racing, trying to piece every bit of information he possessed. He said, "You were a child of Pan long before they all returned."

"Full of surprises," he tilted his head, his gaze intense. "You're right. But I can't help you much about what happened, I've been missing less than a year and it just felt like I've been asleep the whole time. Now, I just help in any way I can."

Reuniting them to uncover clues on what happened. Forming the dream club. Yeosang could understand how it felt like help. Finding someone who went through the same experience. Finding comfort fitting in. Somewhere they belonged. The coin felt heavy on Yeosang's neck.

"You said that I was incomplete," Yeosang said.

Eden crossed his arms. "With anyone, I can feel emotions, maybe see a memory, detect a power. You... it's just a void. There's nothing. No power. No emotions. Just nothing."

But Yeosang was not nothing.

Eden investigated him because of this void, not knowing at first that his little dream club had seen Yeosang in their dreams years ago. Eden did not expect Seonghwa to meet Yeosang. It surprised Eden more than anything. Only Hongjoong seconded him on the field when children of Pan were concerned, however Eden prefered working alone most of the time. Their last case helped them gather more informations concerning a child of Pan whose dreams were quite vivid and detailed.

Yeosang was about to question Eden but his own buzzing phone startled him. He had set an alarm, not wanting to be late for Yeri. Yeosang reached in his pocket for his phone, stopping the alarm. He really had to go. Yeosang said goodbye to Eden.

"Be careful." Eden said. "A lot of strange events are occurring these days."

"Don't forget I'm still under Cheong's protection," Yeosang said in a low voice. "I can handle myself."

Yeosang left the cute coffee shop, walking rapidly to meet Yeri. He took shortcuts in small alleys. He spotted Yeri in front of a bus stop; he wave at her calling her name. Yeosang smiled, happy to see her. She started talking about how she missed him at The Mist. All the sweet grandmas who were asking for him. All the cute boys he missed while absent. She grabbed his arm, her giddy mood spreading to Yeosang.

"Thanks for coming with me," he said.

"Oh come on! I needed new shoes. This was perfect timing!"

The shopping mall was massive, and Yeosang liked how people just went on their way, not really paying too much attention on others. They visited so many shops that Yeosang lost count. Yeri bought at least three pairs of shoes. They laughed at a weird motif on a shirt. Yeosang like shopping with Yeri. It felt like taking a big breath and letting it out while laughing until you couldn't beath again. When they went shopping, she always grabbed his arms, sending death glare at anyone watching Yeosang weirdly. It warmed his heart, knowing she protected him however she could. She had never been interested in Yeosang. She told him the first day she started working at The Mist.

"You're cute but not my style," she had said to him.

They had laughed together about it and still smiled fondly when one of them reminded it to the other.

Yeosang bought a silver tie pin for Kyungtae's birthday, simple and elegant. Kyungtae could afford anything he desired although Yeosang made it a tradition to gift him something small but thoughtful. He remembered Kyungtae possessed a vast collection of neck ties. Yeosang felt happy with his present, wrapped in a pretty box. They were walking, their iced coffee in hand, just doing window-shopping for now. Yeri asked about Seonghwa, interested if Yeosang had contacted him after he left the letter.

"If you haven't, give me his number!"

"Oh, no, he's so not your style."

"So you contacted him! You must send him the ponytail video!" Yeri said.

"Noooo," he protested.

"Send it yourself or trust me; I'll find a way to send it to him!"

Yeosang got his phone out, searched for the silly video and sent the link to Seonghwa. He would likely have to apologize at the dinner in a few days or just act like he never sent it. "There! Happy?"

Yeri smiled so much her eyes disappeared. Yeosang glanced at the crowd and caught some movement. For more than twenty minutes, two men kept following them. Yeosang thought there were not really discreet in their suits. They looked like normal buisinessmen except they didn't walk like one. Yeosang spotted their short military hair and their strong walk from afar. They were maintaining their distance, stopping when Yeosang and Yeri stopped, walking when they went from a store to another.

"Someone's following us," he whispered to her. "Stay calm."

There were mainly three reasons they could be following him. For Yeri. Possible but not the most certain. Because of his link to Eden, but Yeosang would have spotted them earlier. And the most evident, his link to the Cheong family. Yeri griped his arm tighter but she kept smiling. She was not an idiot. She knew for who she worked at The Mist. Yeosang was thinking how he could lost them without getting Yeri in the way. He needed to think and act fast.

"I'm gonna leave you in the next store," he said to her. "They're probably here for me."

"What? No, you can't do this."

"If they're following me, you'll be safe. If they're following you, I'll come back. We'll text each other, ok?"

She agreed, reluctant. She made him promise to inform her when he was safe. They entered a shop, small and full of colorful clothes. Yeosang did not see the two men entering. Yeosang entrusted Kyungtae's gift to Yeri. She would give it back later. This sealed their promise to be safe. Yeosang left her, saying goodbye. He got his phone out while exiting the shop. He spotted the two men immediately at his right, still far from him. So they were following him and not Yeri. He texted her, instructing to stay a bit more in the shop and then she would be able to go home safely. Yeosang also texted Youngmi walking at his normal pace to not alert the men. He needed to lose them first, but he also needed a safe place to hide.

Youngmi responded almost immediately. An address. A safe place. And an hour. Youngmi would pick him up. Yeosang put his phone back in his jacket. _Breathe in. Breathe out_. He got out of the shopping mall. He glanced behind him. The two men got closer. Yeosang took his knife in his hand, not opening it. He dashed into a narrow alley, hearing one of the men yelling. He ran fast. He ran smart. He blessed himself to remember all the paths. He managed to lost one of them. Only one was following him now. Unfortunately for this man, Yeosang knew exactly where he was, where he was going. Yeosang made a sharp turn. Another turn.

He went into the darkest alley he knew. He stopped. Crouched behind a huge garbage can. He did not move. His heart beating furiously in his chest. _Breathe in. Breathe out_. At this point, Yeosang was sure to have lost the last man. He stayed there more than twenty minutes, waiting for his breath to calm down. He wasn't far from the safe place. Youngmi told him to show his coin. He walked slowly to the address, watching the streets at every turn he made.

In front of him stood a tiny electronic repair shop. The door's bell rang when he entered. The only person Yeosang saw was the staff member at the counter. Yeosang walked straight to him, read the staff's name tag. Yeosang got his coin out. Blood drained from Jaeseok's face. "I'm so-sorry but we... we don't deal with this kind of stuff. Please..."

"It's okay, it's for me!" A voice interrupted him from behind the open door to the back. "Let him pass!"

Jaeseok executed himself, leaving Yeosang pass him. He threw at Yeosang a desperate look, like Yeosang bare presence was too much. The back room was small, full of various electronic parts. A young man sat in front of a desk, a tiny soldering iron in hand. He replaced it on the desk and turned toward Yeosang, taking of his glasses. He had grease on his cheek and his safety glasses left marks on the bridge of his nose.

"Hi, I'm Youngjo. You can sit on the couch if you want," he showed an old leather couch. "Mrs. Cheong won't be long I think."

Yeosang was not going to ask anything. He just felt happy to sit. His legs were killing him from the sudden exercice. Yeri's text informed him she was home safe. Youngjo got back to his work, changing the radio station sometimes, humming the songs he liked. Yeosang waited less than an hour before he spotted the familiar car of Youngmi outside the repair shop. He thanked Youngjo, simply nodded to Jaeseok who looked still pale and dashed into Youngmi's car.

Her lips were pressed together. The driver took them home in silence. Yeosang described the two men to Youngmi, and she disappeared in her office, making phone calls. This was not the first time he got followed and not the last time. Yeosang learned later that Youngjo worked as an informant for the Cheong family. Youngmi did not tell him more about him, she chose to not reveal more. Yeosang respected her choice, focusing on finding a way to calm down. They ordered fried chicken, Yeosang's favorite meal, spending the evening under a big comforter watching a drama. Yeosang slept with his knife under his pillow that night.

Seonghwa's text message came at the perfect timing. Yeosang lost track of time and forgot what day it was. Seonghwa wanted to know if Yeosang was really coming to dinner to meet two of the dream club. Yeosang still found the name silly but endearing in a way. Yeosang hoped it was Hongjoong since Eden came back from his case. He asked Seonghwa who were the two he was going to meet, but Seongwha only replied by a "Surprise".

Yeosang could use the distraction. He felt on edge since he was followed and Youngmi was spending half her days in her office at home. Yeosang took a taxi to the dream club's home, Youngmi refusing him to take the subway. Seonghwa came to open the door for him like last time. Yeosang was too distracted to care about the elevator code. Seonghwa didn't comment on Yeosang monosyllabic answers.

In the living room, Yeosang heard the deep voice before seeing the tall man. His eyes disappearing while he smiled. Yeosang could see his dark roots growing, creating a weird tie and dye in his hair. A small shiny ball moving around his head.

"Hi, I'm Mingi," he said. "Seonghwa spent the afternoon cooking for you. I've been banned from the kitchen. Nice to finally meet you!"

Yeosang heard Seonghwa muttered. "It's not true, you were making a mess in my kitchen."

Seonghwa pointed another tall man in the kitchen, and Yeosang felt tiny. "And this is Yunho."

"Wait... Yunho? Yunho as the cat I saw last time?" Yeosang was confused.

"Hum, hi! Nice to meet you?" he said with the biggest smile on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, what do you think about the powers you've seen? We had a very, very long debate with my roommates about that :)


	4. Over the horizon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My country will start the end of the quarantine next week and I'm quite anxious about it... Please, stay safe and healthy !  
> Chapters keep getting longer and I hope you'll enjoy it !

Yeosang sat down, his face hidden in his hands. Seonghwa was getting plates out, placing them on the kitchen counter, calm and observing Yeosang. Yunho still had a smile on his face, his head tilted on the side like a puppy trying to understand something. Mingi was on his phone in the kitchen, watching Yeosang and Yunho.

"Let me resume it clearly," Yeosang started. "You can shift into any animal you want."

"I have to know a bit of the anatomy, so I can't shift into everything I want. It's not a compensation, it just help for an easier shifting," Yunho explained.

"And what's your actual compensation?"

Mingi's silver sphere came floating right in front of Yunho. He focused on the ball right away. She flew across the room, straight into the living room. Yunho dashed after the ball. Leaving Yeosang in the middle of their conversation. He heard Mingi laugh, and Seonghwa slapped his shoulder, a disapproving look on his face. Yeosang did not understand but this seemed like an occurring situation. Yunho kept playing with the ball, like a cat chasing a laser light. Yeosang started to connect the dots but Seonghwa cut his thoughts pointing Yunho. "Some of the animal instincts stay. He slept as a dog all night and shifted back this morning."

The silver ball came back to Mingi, floating around his head like the moon around the earth. The form changed sometimes, going from spheric to cubic then back to a perfect silver sphere. Yeosang was definitely interested in Mingi's power. Yeosang supposed it was some sort of telekinesis but it didn't explain the changing form of the sphere, so he opted for maybe a sort of metal manipulation. Yunho returned with a bashful smile. He readjusted his clothes and his hair.

Seonghwa told them dinner was ready, and they all sat down, Seonghwa sat in front of Yeosang and Yunho at his right. Yunho said, "It's easier to sleep when I'm a dog or cat. The longer I stay as an animal, the longer I keep the instincts. They don't last forever, that would be a nightmare. Dog, cat, bunny it's not so bad. Reptiles are fun. Bird, however... I almost jump from the roof thinking I still could fly last time. No bird for me anymore."

"Have you tried insects?" Yeosang asked.

Mingi shook his head, a disgusted expression on his face. A shudder jerked Yunho's body. "They creep a lot of us. So no insects. Never."

Yeosang smiled at that. He understood why. He wasn't fond of insects either. Yunho joked about sleeping almost every night as a cat or dog saying his thoughts were less complex in any animal, so it helped him sleep better. As they started eating, Yeosang complimented Seonghwa on the food he cooked. Seonghwa thanked him, almost chocking on his water. His ears turned a lovely shade of red. Yeosang liked it. Yunho and Mingi grinned and Yeosang saw Yunho handling a won bill under the counter. It vanished swiftly into Mingi's pocket. He noticed Yeosang watching and smiled innocently.

"You didn't ask me about my power," Mingi said with a huge smile, his voice laced with a giddy impatience.

"Is it about metal?" Yeosang said pointing at the silver cube. "Because it looks like you can manipulate metal."

"Iron manipulation, it's kinda cool right?" Mingi exclaimed bouncing on his chair, happy that Yeosang found out.

Yeosang nodded. It was a cool trick with the iron sphere around his head but that meant Mingi was using his power constantly. His compensation would not be too bothersome for him. Mingi started explaining how he used the sphere as a catalyst, helping him not feeling how iron was everywhere around him. Thinking how iron was also found in the human body made Yeosang think how terrifying Mingi's power could be. Seonghwa didn't say anything when Mingi ate his third plate. Yeosang didn't know where all of the food disappeared. Yunho leaned to whisper to Yeosang, pointing at the food Mingi was eating. "Compensation. His stomach is like a bottomless pit."

They started chatting about what they busied themselves last week. Yeosang accepted the distraction with pleasure. He needed this after his own weird week and the two men following him. From time to time, Mingi's sphere flew near Yunho and his conversation slowed as he obseved the shiny object. When he focused again, he jumped right back in their banter about which Disney movie was the best.

Yunho helped Seonghwa cleaning the counter, only leaving their glasses, while Mingi continued talking. Yeosang learned that Seonghwa and Hongjoong were one year older than him. Yunho and Mingi were born the same year as him, but only Yunho was older than him. They were not talking about the others of the dream club but Mingi slipped at one point. He mentioned someone named San and how the birthday of Wooyoung was getting closer. Mingi found it unfortunate they didn't meet Yeosang earlier because he missed Hongjoong's birthday. Yeosang was sure he would meet them soon. They never bringed up his ties with the mafia and Yeosang was certain Seonghwa briefed them before.

"How can you afford all of this?" Yeosang asked. "Eden can't possibly support all of you."

"Oh! Seonghwa's an ASMR youtuber," Mingi happily said while Seonghwa stared at him like his look only could kill him. "Hongjoong helps Eden on cases."

"I work at a dance studio three times a week," Yunho said getting his phone out. "With kids, they're adorable. Wait! I have pictures!"

Yunho showed him, a proud smile on his face, relating him everything about the kids in his class, progress they made, how he adored them, how he adored dancing. Mingi was commenting sometimes, but Yeosang found Seonghwa too quiet. He stared at Seonghwa who was just observing them quietly, a gentle smile on his face. When he noticed Yeosang, he averted his eyes. Their conversation died, cut by a sudden door slam and a loud voice. Yeosang heard Seonghwa whispered. "Oh no..."

"No, I won't wait! I wanna eat now and not just the leftovers!" The high pitch voice echoed from the hallway.

A hushed voice answered the first but Yeosang could not discern words. Two unknown faces appeared in the living room. The loud voice belonged to a small fury, his dark hair slightly bouncing as he walked determined toward the kitchen where they were still sitting. He was followed by a blond guy with almond eyes. Seonghwa sighed deeply. Yunho and Mingi exchanged another won bill while Mingi said at Seonghwa. "Told you San couldn't keep him lock forever."

"Yeosang, I'm sorry," Seonghwa looked at him and then at the two newcomers. "They weren't supposed to show up. This is Wooyoung and San."

"Seonghwa were right! You're so more handsome in real life," Wooyoung said grabbing Yeosang's hands. "Feel nice to finally meet you! Dream you is kinda boring."

Yeosang freed his hands, and Wooyoung didn't seem to care much, babbling with Yunho and Mingi about something Yeosang didn't know about but he caught the word dream. San shrugged at the dark look Seonghwa sent him as he presented himself politely. He looked sleepy and back hugged Wooyoung, making Wooyoung take a few step back from Yeosang. Yeosang didn't realise he was holding his breath and inhaled sharply. He answered Wooyoung's questions only by few words, yes or no. Wooyoung talked a lot.

"I loved the ponytail video! This was so fun!" Wooyoung said.

"You went through my phone again?" Seonghwa exclaimed. "I told you to stay away!"

"Not my fault, this was easy to look at! At least, Yeosang doesn't send kinky texts like you and Hongjoong."

"I'm gonna murder you and even San won't be able to fix it!" Seonghwa declared, his ears turning red while the others laughed.

"If you need, I know how to get rid of a body," Yeosang said without thinking.

They all stopped laughing, turning their faces toward Yeosang. He hated the sudden attention. Yeosang needed to change the subject. Quickly. A loud crash of glass distracted them. Yunho just pushed his glass out of the counter and was looking at them like a kid who got caught the hand into the cookie jar. Animal instincts were weird, Yeosang thought, but he accepted the distraction with relief. Yeosang was almost certain Yunho pushing the glass wasn't an accident.

"All of you, out of my kitchen!" Seonghwa yelled at them pinching his nose bridge. "In the living room, let's just sit and chat calmly like civilised people."

Mingi almost ran to the living room, half jumping on the couch, Wooyoung and San following him. Yeosang offered to help cleaning but Yunho was faster than him and Seonghwa dismissed him gently, saying he was invited and this was Yunho's fault anyway. Yeosang went to sit next to Wooyoung and San.

"So what's your power? Eden said you were special, so, how awesome is your power?" Mingi asked with the biggest smile.

Yeosang looked at Seonghwa who retuned an apologetic look. Eden must not have informed them beside Hongjoong and Seonghwa that he didn't possess any power. Yeosang finally answered. "Last time I checked, I'm powerless."

"WHAT?" Mingi yelled. "No way! That's not possible! Eden's never been wrong!"

"Okay, that's weird," San said, half-asleep still glued to Wooyoung. "You still feel like you're like us."

Seonghwa remarked something similar last time, about how he thought they were connected somehow. Wooyoung was not talking but he looked intensely at Yeosang. Something made Yeosang think he already knew about it. Wooyoung didn't seem surprised like San and Mingi. He noticed Yeosang staring at him.

"I've read what Seonghwa and Eden wrote about you," Wooyoung said. "In their phone. I was curious."

"Do you often steal their phone?" Yeosang demanded.

"Oh, I don't need it," he grinned. "Using technology is like breathing for me. It's like a constant communication. The only downside is that everything is loud. I can see almost everything in phones, computers or electric systems, and being outside is sometimes overwhelming. The Internet is the greatest and the worst thing in the world."

Yeosang considered his power frightening. Wooyoung could possibly spy on everyone on the planet if he wanted to. He could access to secret informations, files from governments, secret services. He was like a hacker but with so much more power in his hands. Still, Yeosang found sort of relief that Wooyoung was in front of him. Free. In the wrong hands, his power could become a disaster. A double-edges sword. But to Yeosang, right now, it could be valuable.

"So you can hack a security system? Like surveillance cameras?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I was followed three days ago, at the shopping mall near The Mist. Can you hack the surveillance cameras? Or can you not?" Yeosang insisted handing Wooyoung his phone.

Wooyoung grabbed it and unlocked it without touching the screen. Yeosang advised him to not look at anything else in his phone. After a few seconds, Wooyoung simply asked. "Was it at 3:42 pm?"

Yeosang nodded. Yunho and Seonghwa had joined them on the couch, sitting next to Yeosang. But Yeosang could not divert his gaze from Wooyoung. He looked so focus on the screen but the lockscreen of Yeosang didn't change. Wooyoung wasn't using an app. They all seemed a bit concerned. Finally, a new picture appeared on Yeosang's phone.

"Is that them?" Wooyoung said showing him a picture right after Yeosang nodded.

It was. Yeosang recognised them immediately. He never forgot a face especially if they were a threat to him. Yeosang thanked Wooyoung, taking his phone back, saving the picture before setting it aside, but he could not avoid their questions longer. Yunho was the first to speak. "Is this normal for you to be followed?"

Did he ask because Yeosang was calm talking about it? Yeosang learnt very quickly how to adapt. He had no choice when he wanted to survive. He knew how to run, how to hide from his two years of homelessness. He had to run from junkies, gang members and even police officers. When Youngmi adopted him, she just offered him another way of protecting himself and allies. Staying calm in life threatening situation was a result of a complex mix of experiences, knowledge of the city and his will to survive.

"It wasn't the first time," Yeosang said. "Don't happen often."

"It must be scary," Mingi said.

"It's more inconvenient than scary when you know what to do."

"Inconvenient?" yelped Wooyoung. "Dude, we all have been through shit when we returned, but this is another level. I knew you were part of a mafia family but..."

"I'm still Kang Yeosang, not Cheong Yeosang," cut Yeosang. "Yes, I may be adopted by a mafia family, but their affairs don't concern me. And it doesn't concern you either."

They dropped the subject when they heard San giggling on Wooyoung shoulder. "If you ever get hurt, you can come to me. I'll give you a magic kiss to heal your wounds."

"Hey!" Wooyoung interjected. "I'm the only one you should kiss!"

San rubbed his head against Wooyoung shoulder, ignoring his protest. "I can heal you if you get hurt, it's not much but it's useful."

"Seonghwa burnt his hand earlier," whispered Wooyoung. "A little touch and bam! Totally healed!"

"And then I take a nap!" San said.

This was indeed a very useful power. Yeosang liked it. It explained why San looked so sleepy, like staying awake was a struggle. Yeosang blessed him for changing the subject. He welcomed how calming San sleepy voice sounded, telling him more about his power. The bigger the wound he needed to heal the longest must be the nap. He could heal himself too. It wasn't instantaneous, but it was still faster than usual. San finally fell asleep on Wooyoung shoulder while Mingi and Yunho were arguing about which animal Yunho should shift next.

He looked at the clock; it was getting late and Yeosang should be heading home. They were loud when they told him goodbye. Seonghwa took him back to the building lobby, waiting with him for the taxi.

"I'm sorry about Wooyoung. He's nice, but I know he can be... a lot at first. But he's very charming," Seonghwa smiled. "Every friday we have a movie night between all of us. Maybe, you should come."

"Movie night with the dream club?" Yeosang laughed softly.

"Please come," he said taking Yeosang's hand in his. "Hongjoong will be there."

Yeosang's heart skipped a beat. Yeosang felt as eager as a bit scared to meet Hongjoong. He only has seen Hongjoong twice in his dreams. And yet, sometimes his heart whispered to him that he already has met all of them before. Yeosang remembered what Wooyoung said about the kinky texts of Seonghwa and Hongjoong. Were they in a relationship? Yeosang should probably ask later, but he decided to not wait.

"So... you and Hongjoong? You're dating?"

Seonghwa's smile turned awkward. "...Yes?"

"Oh, nice," Yeosang replied as he saw his taxi arrived. "I'll be there for movie night, see you Friday!"

Yeosang almost jumped into the taxi. Seonghwa's touch lingered on his hand. Yeosang tried not to think too much about it. Seonghwa was not his to take, but he still felt the some sort of disappointment. Seonghwa was an attractive man. He didn't give up when Yeosang insulted him and practically threw him away from The Mist. Seonghwa invited him in their home, showing him his power and being honest with Yeosang. He remembered the hesitation in Seonghwa's answer about dating Hongjoong. Yeosang felt selfish wanting more of Seonghwa's attention.

Yeosang distracted himself from overthinking by playing on his phone until he saw the familiar lights from his house. Youngmi just wished him goodnight when he came home. Sleep didn't come easy that night.

Kyungtae invited himself for lunch in the middle of the week, with his faithful bodyguard Dohwa. Yeosang knew it was not a curtesy visit because he had to shorten his overseas trip. Yeosang gave the picture of the two men to Youngmi when he got back from dinner with the dream club. She didn't show her surprise but her voice betrayed her when she asked where Yeosang got the picture. Yeosang replied by an evasive answer, saying someone in the dream club was good at hacking. Youngmi had most likely send it to Kyungtae and Yeosang would never hear about the two men unless they were dead somewhere. After lunch they locked themselves into Yougmi's office.

Yeosang was left alone with Dohwa. He stayed at the end of the hallway, not too close but not too far from Kyungtae. Yeosang didn't know how long Youngmi and Kyungtae would stay in her office so he needed to be quick. Dohwa saw him getting closer and raised an eyebrow.

"Do you know a place where I can learn how to fight?" Yeosang asked.

"Odd request," he said. "Fight how?"

Yeosang had thought about learning self-defence for a while. Even before the two men followed him. Even before Youngmi told him to stop working. This idea bloomed into his mind years ago like a small seed growing with time. Right now he had all the time he needed. Yeosang wasn't an idiot. He knew something felt wrong with Kyungtae and Youngmi.

"Self-defence mainly. Do you know a place or not?"

"I might know the perfect man for this. We trained together years ago. I can set up a appointment, but I'll have to warn you, they'll probably test what you're capable of enduring. Not the nicest first class, but trust me, it's worth it."

Yeosang accepted. He was prepared to tolerate anything at this point. He had set his mind. He would go and even if it was going to be hard, he would stay and learn. Dohwa didn't ask for more. He directly started to tap on his phone. After ten minutes, he announced to Yeosang that he would have his first class.

"This Friday, at 4 p.m. I'll text you the address, they'll be expecting you, so good luck."

Yeosang thanked him and hoped he still would be in good condition for movie night with the dream club. Right before Kyungtae left with Dohwa an hour later, Yeosang gifted him the neck tie. He got it back from Yeri via Youngmi at The Mist. Youngmi's office door was still open. Yeosang lean on the doorframe, crossing his arms. She closed the file in front of him, putting aside her glasses.

"At some point, I'll have to know how to use a gun," Yeosang said.

Youngmi looked at him like he said an absurdity. She pressed her lips together. She said, "No."

"I counted them. There's fourteen various guns in this house, and I'm not even allowed to know how to use them."

"Sangie, you know I don't want this path for you."

Yeosang did not push the argument further as her voice felt so cold and harsh. He knew something was changing. Kyungtae was way too tensed even when he tried to hide his stiff shoulders. Youngmi spent too much time in her office. She would not let him go back to work at The Mist. She never kept him so long in the dark. She only told him to stay careful when he went out to skateboard or if he went to the convenient store two streets away from their home.

He felt happy when Friday came. He had his frist class of self-defence and the movie night with the dream club. Wooyoung texted him all week. For anything. It seemed he never ran off subjects to talk or questions to ask. Be it favorite color or movie or what he was doing. Yeosang responded to only half of them but Wooyoung didn't seem to mind. Youngmi had been quiet about the self-defence class even though she seemed skeptic, but when Yeosang told her they were friends with Dohwa, she mellowed and let him go.

Yeosang had his gym bag under his arm when he got out of the taxi. The gym was downstair in a small street. It looked shady. Probably was. However, Yeosang trusted Dohwa. He moved forward and opened the door. The training room looked like a normal gym. Yeosang spotted only a few people. At the entrance, a woman was waiting for him. She wore a workout tank top that let her arms bare. Tattoos colored her whole arms, intricated designs filling the space. Her dark hair was kept in a high ponytail, and she smiled gently seeing Yeosang.

"Kang Yeosang I suppose?" She said. "Oh don't look at me like that, Dohwa already told us about you. I'm Nam Jaein. My husband Taesun will teach you today."

She pointed a man, slightly taller than Yeosang, who was approaching. Short hair, tattoos matching the ones of his wife and a lean toned body, Nam Taesun had a stern expression and his voice was serious when he introduced himself.

"I won't go easy on you kid," Taesun said. "Especially since Dohwa vouched for you."

"I'm fine with that," Yeosang replied.

Taesun raised an eyebrow and gestured at Yeosang to follow him. They ended up in a large training room, with mirrors on the wall. It reminded Yeosang of a dance room, and he took off his jacket, leaving it with his bag near the door. Taesun help Yeosang bandage their hands, demonstrating him how to do it. Yeosang ran to warm up, and Taesun made him stretch.

"First class is not gonna be pleasant for you. What do you already know kid?"

"Enough of where to stab a man for him to never walk again. Punching without breaking my thumb."

"Good. Show me what you got kid."

Yeosang threw the first punch but Taesun dodged so fast Yeosang lost him for a second. Taesun punched his shoulder. He then received a violent blow at his ribs. Yeosang's breath got stuck in his throat. It took him almost a full minute to recover his breath. Yeosang tried desperately to land a punch but each time he felt sure to touch Taesun, he avoided Yeosang quickly and stike him in return. Teasun grabbed his left hand and threw him on the floor. Yeosang felt pain in his hand, but it did not stop him. Everything hurt at this point.

"Try again," Taesun ordered.

Yeosang finally touched Taesun's arm, but it didn't stop him. Taesun's smirk annoyed Yeosang. Dohwa had warned him about them testing him. He couldn't afford to give up at this point. The room was silent except for their grunts, the sound of their hits and Yeosang falls on the ground. Taesun used his legs faster than Yeosang and with a sweep knocked him down.

"Again," Taesun said.

Yeosang didn't duck in time. Taesun's fist landed on his nose and lip. Yeosang tasted blood before he saw it on the floor. He spat. It has been a long time since he felt this type of pain. He touched the cut on his bottom lip. His nose was bleeding too. Taesun smiled, and it made Yeosang angry at himself for not avoiding in time. He tried again. And again. And again. Everytime he fell, he got up again. Yeosang threw himself in the battle he couldn't win. It was like fighting a wall. And Yeosang put all his frustration into it and pent-up energy from the past month. He fought until his legs gave up on him.

Some defeat tasted like victory. Yeosang spread on the ground breathing heavily. His nose and lip were still bleeding. Pain throbbed in his left hand. He heard his fingers crack earlier. Yeosang tried to open then close his left hand. He gritted his teeth as sharp pain spread through his hand and arm but he still could use his fingers. His whole body was in pain. His muscles screaming from the effort and punches. And yet, he felt good.

"I like you kid," Taesun laughed helping Yeosang getting back on his feet. His laugh also felt like a victory to Yeosang's ears. "I know why Mrs. Cheong likes you. You got some fierce fire under the pretty face."

Yeosang tried to smile but his lip stung. His ribs hurt every breath he took and he hoped it wasn't fractured. In the gym restroom, Yeosang splashed water on his face, washing the blood away. He inspected his face. The nosebleed stopped fifteen minutes ago when he was talking with Taesun about next class but his lips kept bleeding. The blood ruined his grey shirt. He would have to take a shower before going to movie night with the dream club, to wash away the sweat and blood.

"Hey! Take that!" Jaein entered the restroom throwing something he caught with his right hand. "See you next week!"

It was a cold pack. She gestured at his lip and left hand and disappeared behind the door. She sounded like she was certain Yeosang would return. She wasn't wrong. He would come back next week. Taesun told they would start with what Yeosang already knew and work on small exercises.

"Take care sweetie!" Jaein waved at him from the gym counter as he left. Taesun was nowhere in sight.

When Yeosang came back home, Youngmi was waiting for him at the door. She didn't say a word, but her gaze spoke far more than words. He stopped in front of her, and she took his chin in her hand, inspecting his busted lower lip. The cut was shallow and it didn't swell too much thanks to the cold pack. Yeosang's fingers needed more attention so he showed them to her. Youngmi made a head gesture to follow her and Yeosang complied. He sat in the kitchen while she got the first aid kit from the bathroom. They sat in silence while she disinfected his lip.

"Sangie, I need you to be safe," she started as she wrapped his fingers. "I don't like seeing you hurt."

"I know. But I also need to be able to defend myself better. I can't rely on you forever," Yeosang said. "And since you don't want me to touch to a gun, I have to find another way."

"Remember when I told you to be careful, it still stands. Now, go take a shower. You stink!"

Yeosang smiled at her as she put his injured hand in a plastic bag then Yeosang went into the bathroom. He glanced at his reflection in the mirror. He inspected his ribcage, but he didn't feel broken bones. Aside from old scars, a big bruise started forming where he was hit. He sighed in relief. Yeosang knew how to recognise if his ribs were broken thanks to his first year homeless. He spotted forming bruises on his arms too and was glad about the cold weather outside. He could wear long sleeves and his favorite hoodies. The hot shower he took felt divine on his body. It was hard to wash his hair with only one valid hand but he managed to not get shampoo in his eyes.

Youngmi gave him a strong painkiller after his shower. Right before he left for movie night, Youngmi asked him a last question. "Do you feel safe with them?"

Yeosang thought about it. It hasn't been a long time since he met them. Yeosang didn't meet all of the dream club. They didn't push for answers when Yeosang didn't elaborate. They had respected the implicit boundaries he'd set without asking for more. Yeosang remembered how sweet Seonghwa looked when he proposed the movie night to him. How they did not ask for explanations when he got the pictures of the men following him. They dreamt about him but they never asked about his own dreams. Maybe, Yeosang felt the slow growth of trust in his mind.

"Yes," he finally said before getting in the taxi.

Wooyoung must have known Yeosang arrived because the security guard let him through without asking questions and Yeosang didn't have to enter the code in the elevator. Yeosang would need time to be used to Wooyoung's power. Seonghwa opened the door when Yeosang was about to knock.

"What happened to you?" Seonghwa said, alarmed seeing the wound on his face.

"What? What? Oh damn, did you get mugged?" Wooyoung, who was behind Seonghwa asked.

Yeosang got his shoes off with his good hand. He saluted Mingi and Yunho because they started to pile up behind Seonghwa in the hallway, while taking off his jacket slowly. "It's okay. I wanted this."

"This isn't reassuring," Seonghwa replied while getting closer to Yeosang. "Should I be worried?"

Yeosang almost stopped breathing seeing Seonghwa's face so close. He realised how it sounded. "Oh, I just went to a self-defence class. Nothing to worry about. I had worse."

"Want San to heal you?" Wooyoung asked.

"No, it's okay. It stings but it's better than broken ribs."

Seonghwa sent a concerned look but didn't press it. Yeosang followed them and went to the couch. On the coffee table, variety of food was waiting for them. Yeosang spotted the fried chicken and he felt better just by only looking at it. San was already on the couch, more awake than last time Yeosang saw him, giggling at a joke Yunho told.

"Oh," San said pointing at his wound. "Want me to take care of it?"

"And get you to sleep the entire movie? No, it's okay. Thanks."

San shrugged, offering food. Wooyoung sat on San's knees, telling him how much he missed him. He managed to spread half on San and half on the couch. Seonghwa was right. He was nice and it felt hard to not like Wooyoung. His smile and laugh felt contagious. Seonghwa's phone rang, and Wooyoung announced Hongjoong would be late tonight.

They all ended up on the couch, sitting next to each other and it was hard for Yeosang to ignore Seonghwa's thigh touching his. He tried focusing on the action movie they chose. Wooyoung had asked what Yeosang liked and that they would not choose a mafia oriented movie. They were half into the movie that Yeosang felt his eyes getting heavy, and he started to drift away, missing part of the movie.

He fell asleep.

The desert stretched before his eyes. Orange sand so fine it cascaded from the dune like water under every step Yeosang took. Under the first orange layer, Yeosang could see black and red sand. The sand resembled a wild fire. He walked on the crest of the dune, never stopping. There was nothing but sand. No wind. No heat. No sun.

Yeosang looked at the sky. The sky was a grey ash color but it didn't look like clouds. He kept walking on the sand. He didn't know how long he walked. It seemed it was hours. It seemed it was only mere seconds. Yeosang walked on the dunes, never going down. Did he pass one dune of more than five? He didn't know.

Yeosang only stopped when he spotted something. A mirror. Taller than Yeosang. Decorated with intricated metal work. Reflecting the desert behind him. In front of him stood himself. A younger version of him, with dark hair. Yeosang wondered how old he was. No more than fourteen. He was wearing white clothes. Yeosang looked at his own body, seeing the white clothes on his body. His reflection moved on his own, not mimicking Yeosang's movements.

He knew this was himself. He knew this was not entirely himself. His reflection studied him, like trying to find an old memory. Yeosang touched the mirror and his reflection looked directly at him.

"Why are you here?" he screamed. "Please! Leave!"

Yeosang reached again for his reflection. He flinched so badly that Yeosang took a few steps back. White turned to red. Blood was staining the clothes, spreading everywhere. His reflection's arms were dripping blood; his legs had weird spots like huge gashes bleeding under the fabric. Yeosang quickly inspected his own body. All the blood mirrored his reflection.

"Are you hurt?" Yeosang asked urgently. "What's happening?"

"Please," his reflection cried, sobbing loudly. "Please, don't kill me again."

His reflection disappeared from the mirror. Yeosang didn't have time to look for him. Hands got out of the sand, grabbing Yeosang's legs. He jumped, escaping the hands. He ran down the dune, sand sticking to the blood on his feet. He fell, rolling down the slipface. He got up instantly. The hands in the sand were still after him. He ran, climbing the flank of another dune. He stopped in his run.

There was a stranger he didn't recognise. No one from the dream club. This was not a child of Pan. His mind was screaming he could not be one. When the stranger talked, blood poured from his mouth. Yeosang did not hear what he said. Shock and fear paralyzed Yeosang and the hands from the sands grabbed him again. He could not move. He tried but the hand had a strong grip on his legs. The stranger was getting closer and closer. He stopped in front of Yeosang, so close Yeosang could see the blood dripping from his chin. He looked at Yeosang with melancholic eyes.

The stranger cupped his face. "I missed you my love."

The stranger kissed Yeosang.

Yeosang woke up so suddenly he leaned forward, heaving loudly, gasping for air desperately. He could still taste blood on his tongue. He could still feel all the hands crawling on his skin. Looking around him, he realised this wasn't his bedroom. He felt a hand on his arm and pain flared in his arm. Yeosang kicked with his elbow into the person who touched him, hearing a pained growl. Yeosang reached for his knife in his pocket, jumping from the couch.

"Wow, calm down," he heard Seonghwa say nervously but as gently as he could. "Yeosang, you're with us."

Yeosang breathed heavily as he realised where he was. Yunho had his arms around his own chest. San put an arm in front of Wooyoung protecting him, but was watching Yeosang with a hard gaze. Seonghwa had raised his hands as a peace gesture. The silence stretched as Yeosang could feel the tension in the room rising. Breath stuck in Yeosang's throat.

"I'd rather not be stab tonight," Wooyoung said behind San.

"Yeosang? Can you put the knife down please?" Seonghwa asked.

His hands were shaking uncontrollably and barely holding on his switchblade. Safety. His whole body screamed at him. He needed to be safe. Alone. Yeosang dashed to the bathroom, closed the door, locked it. He slid against the door, putting his head on his knees. His hands would not stop shaking, and he dropped his knife. He hiccuped forcing himself to calm down.

He heard footsteps behind the door. Concerned voices but he could not distinguish words. He still tasted blood and realised his lips had opened again.

"Yeosang?" An unfamiliar voice called with soft knocks on the door. "I didn't think we would meet like that."

It was Hongjoong. He did not need to introduce himself. Yeosang knew he would come home during the movie. He must have missed him when he fell asleep, and then ran into the bathroom. Yeosang took a deep breath even if his ribs hurt him. Pain grounded him right now.

"They're not mad at you," he said. "More worried than anything. Are you okay?"

Yeosang inhaled slowly and exhaled a breathy, "Yes."

"Want to get out? So we can finally meet in an another place than our dreams?"

It wasn't perfect, but Yeosang couldn't occupy their bathroom for the rest of the night, having a mental breakdown over a nightmare. He got up. Yeosang touched his coin under his hoodie. It didn't give him the same courage as always, but it soothed him.

Yeosang unlocked the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost everyone is here ! But... where is Jongho?   
> See you next chapter ! ;)


	5. Now is this place dream or reality?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took me longer to write, but I've decided to not pressure myself with writing, take the time I need and write something I'm pleased with ^w^  
> I hope this was worth the wait!

Hongjoong's hair must have been dyed recently. The red looked like fire on his head, and strangely Yeosang thought it suited him. His colorful sweater looked like someone had fun throwing paint on it. Yeosang closed the door behind him; he moved out of reach from Hongjoong and Seonghwa. Old habits died hard even though he knew he was in a safe place. No one else was in the hallway with them, and he hoped they didn't realise how he moved away from them. This felt weird. Seeing Hongjoong and Seonghwa side by side. Like it wasn't the first time he had met them. Not in his dreams. Not here. But somewhere else. It wasn't the first time he experienced this sensation. Yeosang shook the feeling away, and he noticed Seonghwa's worried glance on his hands, like searching for any sign of the knife.

"No knife," Yeosang said to break the silence while raising his two free hands.

"Not the encounter I wished for, but not the worst," Hongjoong said back. "Let's just go sit in the living room."

Yeosang noticed marks on the back of Hongjoong's hands. The similar type of blueish bruises Yeosang saw on Seonghwa's arms. Marks of Children of Pan. Seonghwa and Yeosang followed Hongjoong to the living room. Yeosang didn't want to talk about his dream. It was late, he needed to go home and his whole body was protesting his little meltdown. Yeosang didn't see Mingi in the living room, nor San and Wooyoung. But Yunho was still on the couch, looking like a kicked puppy, only waiting for someone to cuddle him. Yeosang wanted to apologize but the only words coming from his mouth were, "I should go home."

"Aren't we gonna talk about this?" Seonghwa asked.

"Not tonight, I'm tired. It's late, everyone probably tired too. Unless you want to talk?" Hongjoong looked at Yeosang.

"No. I really should go home."

"Please, stay tonight," Seonghwa half-whispered cupping Yeosang's face. Yeosang almost flinched, his nerves still on high alert but too tired to move away at this point. "We can't let you go home in this state. And we can talk in the morning. About dreams. You could demand anything you want to know."

Yeosang wanted to argue, but he started feeling dead tired. He looked at Seonghwa, how he frowned his eyebrows, how concerned his expression was. Yeosang agreed, giving in. He almost leaned into Seonghwa's hands, but he moved away slowly. The gentle touch still lingered on his cheeks. Yeosang wanted to know more about their dreams too. Yunho gave him a big soft blanket and a spare t-shirt with a half smile on his face. Yeosang apologized for punching him and he settled on the couch. He was left in the dark, city lights illuminating softly the living room. Everything was silent and Yeosang texted Youngmi. After a long moment trying to find a position where his body didn't hurt, Yeosang finally fell asleep.

Yeosang woke up to noises in the kitchen and the smell of coffee. He felt a weight on his legs and looked to see a massive golden retriever asleep. Yunho must have shifted during the night. It was almost a miracle this did not wake up Yeosang. Yunho was also lucky Yeosang didn't knock him in his sleep. Yeosang was a light sleeper, but he must have been so exhausted last night that Yunho's weight didn't wake him up. He sat on the couch while his whole body protesting at each movement. He caressed Yunho's head somehow feeling grateful Yunho stayed with him during the night. Yeosang saw Seonghwa and Hongjoong in the kitchen, already dressed. Yeosang breathed in and breathed out slowly before he decided to join them. This weird déjà vu didn't disappear overnight. Yunho didn't even move from the couch.

"That," Hongjoong pointed at Yeosang's arms and hands. "Must hurt. Why didn't you let San heal you?"

Yeosang looked at his arms. The oversized t-shirt they let him borrow let his arms bare for everyone to see. Bruises had started forming, colouring his arms in various shades of purple. His knuckles were bruised and wounded too. His whole body was in pain and Yeosang felt like a truck ran over him. Yeosang didn't want to see the rest of his body. The bruises on his ribcage were most likely some of the worst. He sat down, his legs sore and hurting where bruises marked his skin, placing his head on the counter. The cold felt good on his skin. Waiting for an answer that wasn't coming, Hongjoong turned to Seonghwa.

"He said he's been through worse," Seonghwa said. When Hongjoong frowned, Seonghwa continued, "We asked twice. Nicely."

"I'm sorry, but he looks like a mess," Hongjoong replied before turning back towards Yeosang. "Please, let San heal you. Even if it's not everything. Your hand or your face. Only one bruise."

Yeosang didn't even raise his head from the counter. "If I don't want San to heal me, it's because of my family. Can't really go home fully healed when my grandmother patched me up yesterday."

Yeosang didn't tell his grandmother about their powers. Youngmi knew what they were, who they were. She simply was too preoccupied with Kyungtae's affairs for now and knew when not to pry too much into Yeosang's life. She trusted him to make the right choice. He would come to her eventually. But Yeosang thought about informing her about their abilities. Deep down it felt wrong to Yeosang to disclose their powers to Youngmi. He stayed vague when they talked about the dream club. Yeosang didn't give more than names and elusive description of them, promising for more when she would be free of Kyungtae's affairs. Youngmi didn't ask for more. It was a delicate game of knowing enough and not asking too much.

"It's not only about my family, but the rest of the world." Yeosang continued. "How am I supposed to explain this to my self-defence instructor? I can't barge in the gym saying "keep using me as a punching-ball because I know a guy who can heal me." Maybe it works for you, but not for regular people like me."

Hongjoong frowned, exchanging looks with Seonghwa. Seonghwa finally said, "Told you he'd refuse again."

Yeosang was tired and in pain and he felt blessed when Seonghwa placed a cup of coffee in front of him. He drank it slowly, careful of his lip, while Hongjoong still observed him. It was quiet for a moment. Yeosang could hear the soft snore of Yunho on the couch, but it didn't stay quiet for long. Yeosang started to feel annoyed by Hongjoong still watching him, like waiting for him to talk first. He sighed after he had taken his last sip of coffee. Hongjoong's stare was somewhat too intense for Yeosang's patience right now.

"Is your power about annoying people enough so they throw stuff in your face, because it's working on me right now," Yeosang said staring directly into Hongjoong eyes with his empty cup still in his hands.

Seonghwa snorted at Hongjoong's shocked expression, but before Hongjoong spoke, Yeosang continued, "You said yesterday you wanted to talk about dreams. I'm listening."

Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa, maybe to find support. Yeosang observed their silent conversation. Yeosang thought about mind reading, but it couldn't be Hongjoong's power. If it was the case, he could have read Yeosang's annoyance before he talked about it. It just reminded Yeosang of his own silent conversations with Youngmi. They knew what the other meant with only a look or a raised eyebrow. Simple gestures that a close person knew how to decipher. Hongjoong had a fond expression looking at Seonghwa and something in Yeosang's mind yearned for his attention, as if he wanted Hongjoong to look at him with the same fondness. Yeosang brushed it off his mind to focus on the conversation. Yeosang also thought not to forget asking about Hongjoong's power later.

"Dreams are one of our biggest lead on how to bring back our missing memories." Hongjoong started. "I was also the first that Eden took in. He wasn't really happy at first to have a kid like me glued to him. It was supposed to be temporary but now we investigate together about those dreams."

"But how do you know it's a lead?" Yeosang demanded. "They don't make a lot of sense. You can't base an investigation on fickles dreams."

"I know it sounds crazy at first, but we have collected many testimonies from others like us. And long story short, we know someone whose ability is to manipulate dreams, in Los Angeles. We all met him a few times. Guess which dreams he can't temper with?"

Yeosang thought for a second, trying to connect the dots, and recalling how the ashes fell from the sky the first time he met Hongjoong in his dream. He said, "When it rains ashes. But if he can't manipulate those dreams..."

Yeosang remembered the ship. How he explored it, knowing where he was going, knowing the ship was almost summoning him, yearning for his return, how his heart had ached when he had reached for the weird globe. He had been there before. Something deep within him resonated with this ship.

"They can't be memories..." Yeosang whispered as if he was trying to lie to himself.

"They are," Hongjoong replied. "Or something similar to a memory. Consider this theory: those dreams are linked to our past. They're places we've been during our missing years. Because if they were entirely memories, we would be dreaming of each other as kids but we're not. We all look like how we currently are. Our present self. That's how you recognise me, right? Did I have my red hair?"

Yeosang nodded. Hongjoong right now looked exactly how the version of Yeosang's dreams looked. If during those dreams their current version of themselves appeared, Yeosang realised how easier it was to find children of Pan if they appeared in each other dreams. But he also realised they could have seen a glimpse of Yeosang's life way before he was aware of their existence. Yeosang was about to get sick when he asked, "Did you dream of me before I was seventeen?"

"You've been in my dream since I've come back. It's gonna be eight years. So, yes," Hongjoong said.

Yeosang needed to breathe. _Breathe in. Breathe out._ But his breath felt stuck in his throat. Hongjoong had seen him during his worst days. Seonghwa frowned at Yeosang's change of behavior, Hongjoong too.

"Yeosang are you okay?" Seonghwa asked.

Yeosang ignored his question. It took Yeosang three tries to get words out, but it was almost a growl, "What did you see?"

"You weren't there often, maybe once every two or three months at first," Hongjoong continued a bit unsettled. "In our dreams, you were stuck in a glass prison. You just were there. You never talked. You were wounded once or twice. I could never reach you."

Yeosang breathed again. He inhaled deeply, relaxing his body. Yeosang's years of homelessness were the worst of his life, and he really wanted to forget those years. They left him scarred. Maybe one day, he would open up about those years.

Yeosang could not believe Hongjoong has seen Yeosang for eight years in his dreams. Yeosang only dreamt about him few months ago and it felt already like too much. Yeosang wanted to ask how Hongjoong got to stay with Eden but this wasn't the right time for this. And he just met Hongjoong. If Yeosang didn't want to share too much of his own past to strangers, they probably would not be open to him. They didn't know each others well enough.

"And somehow, one day, you weren't there anymore." Hongjoong explained. "Before you disappeared, the rain of ashes had been very slow and wasn't covering everything. Then it became what you probably had witnessed. We didn't see you for almost a year. And then suddenly, you reappear. But not in your box. You're walking, asking questions. Did you know that before you started wandering in our dream, everything was silent? You're the only one who talks in the dreams."

 _Silence never represents an option for you_. Yeosang remembered this phrase the first time he dreamt about Hongjoong. But it didn't make sense. In his own dreams, Yeosang wasn't the only one talking. There was the presence who spoke to him. There was the giggle in the library. There was the younger version of himself.

There was the bloodied stranger in his nightmare last night.

"What about someone else in the dreams?" Yeosang demanded. "I can't be the only one talking."

"There's a presence, but no one has ever seen who or what it was. It's not in every dream either," Hongjoong answered. "When I met the others, and when they started to live with Eden and me, our dreams started to be clearer. More frequent too. We all got the same dreams. The same places. We saw each other before meeting. I saw Seonghwa in a dream before meeting him in the real world."

"I've seen many of us in my dreams," Seonghwa said. "But you're the only one who ever said a word. Sometimes, it's just a sentence, sometimes questions. We know we are dreaming, but we never control what we do. Since you got out of your glass prison, you're always the one that roams freely."

Yeosang had not a lot of control in his dreams. He simply followed the intangible pull in him like he behaved like a magnet searching for his other half. But maybe, because of this pull, he possessed more control than them. It still didn't make sense to him this type of control. Frustration of not fully understanding why upset him. Yeosang felt something bumping against his leg; he almost let out a soft gasp of pain before looking down. Yunho had god up from the couch, still as a huge golden retriever. Maybe he felt Yeosang wasn't feeling very good and wanted to comfort him. Yeosang started patting his head.

"And this place where the memories take place, where is it?" Yeosang demanded.

"We don't know," Hongjoong grimaced. "This is what we're trying to find with Eden. We call it the Island for now, because a lot of us dream about a beach and a huge ship."

Yeosang remembered what he discovered exploring the captain's cabin. He said, "What about the map inside the captain's cabin? Maybe one of you had read the name on it."

They stared at him, shocked. Even Yunho looked at him, and inclined his head on the side, like asking him to elaborate. Seonghwa said, "We've never been inside the ship."

Hongjoong laughed and his voice sounded like he was jealous and hopeful at the same time, "Even others like us have never been inside. I've seen this ship for eight years, and you've explored it before me! You're really something. And you still doubt you're not special?"

Yeosang was something. He was not nothing. Yunho left them, trotting towards the hallway, disappearing into a room. Hongjoong demanded how was the ship inside and the map, and Yeosang complied. He described the captain's cabin, how he remembered it and what he noted on his phone, but kept to himself how sitting at the captain's desk felt like his rightful place. Yeosang never spoke about the bloodied stranger and the desert.

The kitchen became more lively when Mingi joined them, followed by a human Yunho. Wooyoung and San joined them too, but San almost fell asleep on the counter. They didn't bring up Yeosang's meltdown but Yeosang apologised to them. Wooyoung just said, "Just warn us if you get stabby next time."

And then he almost fought Mingi because he wanted to finish the orange juice. Yeosang observed them. He was so used to peaceful mornings with Youngmi that all the noises around him made his skin crawl. Yeosang felt the need to escape the loud kitchen. He just needed a bit of calm. Ignoring the pain waking up in his body started to be hard with the headache pounding at his temples. He flinched when a hand touched his arm. Hongjoong was frowning at him, looking concerned.

"I suppose you don't have painkillers in this house because of the walking first-aid kit there," Yeosang said pointing at San.

Wooyoung snorted so hard he spat his orange juice on Yunho. San, more awake now, and Seonghwa laughed too. Yeosang squinted at the high pitch laugh of Wooyoung. He really needed a painkiller otherwise his headache would murder him.

"Maybe I can help," Hongjoong said, smiling. "Huum, I can reduce the pain and it can last until you go home."

"How?"

"I can enhance or dull a sense. My power," he said, "Is basically tricking your nervous system telling him you're feeling more, less, or nothing. It's never permanent and lasts a few hours."

Yeosang considered it, interested on how his power worked, "At this point, I could accept anything to numb my body. And if it works faster than a painkiller, I'll gladly take it."

"Okay, give me your hands," Hongjoong instructed him.

Yeosang complied, and Hongjoong took his hands carefully, being mindful of Yeosang's broken fringers. A shiver ran through Yeosang's body, but he could feel the pain and his headache receding. Hongjoong let his hands free, and Yeosang tried moving his fractured fingers. Pain in his hand was still present but not as strong as before. It felt oddly distant, almost like it wasn't his own hand. His body felt lighter too. Yeosang thanked him but didn't forget about their compensation. Hongjoong looked at him horrified.

"Seriously, how and why are you walking around? This is way too much pain. I would be laying still on the ground right now."

"So, you somehow connected your nervous system to mine?" Yeosang asked, ignoring what Hongjoong said and trying to grasp how his compensation worked.

"You're a stubborn one; you know that," Hongjoong sighed. "Sometimes I go through a bit of what you're experiencing when I'm using my power. What I execute is what I receive. I dulled your nervous system. Mine will be dull too in a few hours."

Yeosang decided Hongjoong's power was quite interesting. But his thoughts were interrupted by San.

"Is the pain that bad?"

"His whole body is screaming in pain," Hongjoong said. "Really, how are you still standing?"

Yeosang just shrugged when they looked at him. Even though he was in pain, he had learnt to ignore it as much as he could years ago. But pain also meant he was still alive. Right now he was just glad his headache and body weren't killing him anymore. He simply said, "High pain tolerance, I guess."

Before leaving, Wooyoung implored him to come next Friday for movie night and stay the night because it would be right before his birthday. Wooyoung's birthday was Saturday and he really wanted to celebrate with Yeosang too. They mentioned Jongho too, the last one living with them and the youngest of their group. He was currently on a college trip but was going home Thursday, so Yeosang could meet him during Wooyoung's party. Yeosang accepted and Wooyoung hugged him. He released Yeosang when he heard his yelp of pain and apologised imediatly a thousand time after.

They let him go, with the promise of not getting hurt at his self-defence class. When Yeosang got home, Youngmi wasn't there. Yeosang didn't feel like staying home alone so he called Yeri to hang out. She yelled so loud at him when she saw his wounds and bruises. Yeri calmed down only when Yeosang explained where he got them. Her stare was black and intense, but she warmed up quickly. She couldn't be mad forever at him. They played video games, and later in the evening, Yeosang was teaching her skateboard.

Yeosang avoided talking too much about the dream club, answering Yeri's question by generic answers. She didn't mind and focused on her skateboard. They happily ordered pizza and watched an old tv show, laughing at what a character said. When she left, Yeosang promised Yeri to visit her at The Mist soon. Youngmi came home late that night.

In the middle of the week, Yunho asked Yeosang to help him choose Wooyoung's birthday present. Tired of staying at home, Yeosang accepted. Maybe he could find a present too. Wooyoung had sent countless texts on what he liked, what was his favorite colours or his favorite dramas. Yunho and Yeosang met Thursday late afternoon right after one of Yunho's dance class. He told Yeosang to meet him at the dance studio because he knew the neighborhood quite well. There were nice clothes shops around and cute coffee shop too.

Youngmi accepted because they were staying on Kyungtae territory. She almost ordered Yeosang to never be alone, and he promised he would be careful, as always. Yunho's hair was still a bit damp after the shower he took before getting out of the studio. He smiled so bright when he saw Yeosang, his gym bag on his shoulder.

"I have an idea of what I want," Yuhno said. "Wooyoung can't really get out as much as he wants, so it's almost a tradition to buy him clothes for his birthday. He and Mingi turn his birthday into a mini fashion runway. That's very fun, you'll see."

Yeosang followed Yunho into a few shops, and ended up buying a present for Wooyoung. Yeosang found a very nice jacket for himself and a nice soft sweater for Wooyoung. Yunho almost chocked at the price. Yeosang shot him a shy smile as he bought the articles. Youngmi always made sure Yeosang had money and could buy everything he wanted, but Yeosang never abused it. He was simply glad to be able to buy coffee or maybe nice clothes sometimes. He didn't need all the luxury he probably could afford with his money. His only guilty pleasures were his skateboard and his collection of drones. Yunho found his gift for Wooyoung in the next shop and told Yeosang he wanted to see a coffee shop near by.

Slowly walking in the street, Yeosang felt curious. "Yunho, how does it feel? When you use your power."

Yunho seemed to think for a few seconds. "Like tiny sparks. You know when you hit your elbow nerve, and it's weird like not really painful but a strange sensation, it's a bit similar. For me at least. Oh for the others too! Seonghwa described it like when he's listening to asmr, it tingles. Except Mingi and Wooyoung. They use their power constantly, it's just like breathing for them. Still sparks but less sparks. I don't know if it makes sense."

It didn't make a lot of sense to Yeosang, but he could imagine the sensation. He nodded, enjoying how open Yunho seemed to be about his power. They weren't talking too loud, but the streets were not full of people so it helped. Nobody was really paying attention to them.

"How fast can you shift?"

"Depends on the animal, the more I'm used to it, the faster I shift. It's a bit like dance, practice makes it easier," he said before laughing. "But I always shift at home, because well, clothes don't shift with me."

"Wait! Does that mean you were sleeping naked with me?" Yeosang asked, teasing Yunho.

Yunho's ears flared up red as he looked away from Yeosang. Yeosang smiled thinking he liked how approachable Yunho was. Yunho let Yeosang asked his questions, answering without reserve but had this shy smile sometimes, like a kid happily trading secrets for candy. Yeosang thought how Yunho was maybe too trusting, but it felt pleasant and easy to be around him. Yeosang didn't know if he shifted earlier and still retained some animal instincts. Yunho said once that he was very friendly after being a dog.

They stopped in a pretty coffee shop. Yunho explained he took pictures a lot for Wooyoung when he was out. So when his power wasn't too annoying for him, he knew exactly where he wanted to go. Yeosang found it thoughtful and cute and started to see how some of their power could affect their daily life.

"Mingi's happy staying at home playing video games or making music with Hongjoong. Wooyoung wished he could get out more often. It's just difficult because everything is loud for him," Yunho said after ordering. "Last time, we were sitting next to a couple and Wooyoung ended up transferring all of the boyfriend texts into his girlfriend's phone. The guy was cheating on her with one of her friend. She wasn't really pleased to look at her phone and discovering someone had sent her all of those texts."

Yeosang could imagine the scene. "Did Wooyoung transfer the text intentionally?"

"Not really, sometimes, we lose a bit of control on our power. I go to bed as me and wake up as a cat. It's funny on Seonghwa! When Hongjoong compliments him sometimes, flowers bloom on his head. Emotions influence them a lot."

Yeosang enjoyed Yunho explanations. Yeosang was glad to not be burden with a power. But since he met them, he had asked himself what power he could have had if he really was a child of Pan. After a conversation on which animal they preferred, Yunho went to the bathroom.

A man entered the coffee shop. Small, dressed fully in black clothes. He looked average, like he could blend in the crowd in seconds. It wasn't someone from the mob, but he gave Yeosang a distinct feeling of danger. The stranger stared back at Yeosang when he looked at him. He wanted his presence to be known. Yeosang slowly grabbed his knife and concealed it in his right sleeve. The man sat quickly in front of Yeosang. He snarked, "I've been looking for you."

Yeosang started to be tired having stranger barging into his life like they knew everything about him. He didn't even want to know who he was. He wished he could enjoy only one nice evening out in the city. Yeosang channeled every particle of courage in himself. He was in public and needed to hold his ground. He couldn't escape now.

"It's not a pleasure to meet you. Please leave," Yeosang replied trying to be slightly polite.

"Come on, Destroyer," the man laughed, but it didn't reach his eyes. "You're the reason we're all in this shitty world. You'll come with me. We need to go back to what's left of Neverland."

Yeosang wanted to say he was crazy, but this was different. This was another child of Pan. Yeosang didn't know how he knew, but his mind was so sure of it. And Yeosang could expect anything from the stranger. He needed to stay alert and careful.

"I'm not who you're looking for. I'm not even like you," Yeosang said. "This is my second warning, leave now."

The stranger's smile twitched. He leaned closer still watching Yeosang in the eyes. The stranger caught Yeosang's left hand on the table and he squeezed hard. Yeosang tried so hard to not show how pain flared through his arm from his broken fingers. His hand was burning. The stranger talked in a really low voice, "Don't make this painful for yourself, Destroyer. I really don't want to fight you. Follow me if you don't want to get hurt."

"I'd rather be in pain than following a stranger," Yeosang replied through his teeth not breaking eye contact.

"You can call me Aster, so we won't be stranger anymore," he said so low it felt like a secret to Yeosang.

Yeosang suspected it wasn't his real name. Yunho came back but Aster didn't move. Didn't even look at Yunho. Yeosang heard a low grumble by his side. He glanced briefly at Yunho. He looked serious, not smiling anymore, and his eyes were fixed on the stranger. Yunho felt menacing. Yeosang grabbed Yunho's wrist with his right hand. He needed to know Yeosang controlled the situation. Yunho kept growling so low Yeosang could barely hear it.

"You should keep your dog on a tighter leash," Aster said while leaning away, finally glancing at Yunho. "But I guess you already did that with all of us."

Aster tapped two fingers on his temple. When he saw Yeosang frowning, he observed him then seemed to realise something. "Oh. You don't remember anything. How inconvenient! Guess I'll come back when you finally remember and guilt start to devour you inside. See you later, Destroyer."

Aster rose up from the chair, putting his hands up as a peace gesture. He smiled strangely, waving. He finally left. Yeosang took a deep breath.

"Let's go," Yeosang said to Yunho.

They left the coffee shop, Yunho a bit unsettled followed Yeosang in the street. It took him a few minutes to ask Yeosang, concern on his face.

"Do you know him?"

"No. But he seemed to know more about where you spend those ten years. Does Neverland remind you of something?" Yeosang said but Yunho shook his head a negative answer. "Tell Hongjoong that for me, I really need to confirm something first."

Yeosang called Youngmi. She answered quickly, but Yeosang was the first to talk before Youngmi even had time to speak. Yeosang demanded, "Is the stranger on Kyungtae's territory a child of Pan?"

There was a silence before Youngmi replied very slowly, "Not our first concern. But he's one of them. We have a team on his track."

"I just met him. I'm fine. I wasn't alone. Yunho's with me. But I need to know everything you have about him. Send everything to me. Eden might help you with this concern. I'll text you what this man said and where I was when I encountered him."

"Yeosang," her voice sounded serious. It felt unusual to Yeosang hearing his name pronounced by Youngmi instead of his nickname. "He's dangerous. He killed our men to get information on you. Burned them alive. He escaped us, the little bastard. If I had my hands on him, I would gladly kill him."

Yeosang heard Yunho's strangle gasp. He probably overheard what Youngmi said. Yeosang started rubbing his hand on Yunho's arm to comfort him. Maybe it was for his own comfort. Yeosang was used to death around him. It never was easy, but he grew to ignore it to focus on his own survival. If Youngmi was informing him what happened to Kyungtae's men, this meant they had the situation almost under control.

"You put him on the list," Yeosang declared.

"Yes."

Anyone who wronged Cheong's family and who deserved to die was put on the list. Yeosang sighed, "If you ever got your hands on him. Please interrogate him about what he knows about children of Pan. Because he was a bit chatty about that. I'll see you later, bye!"

Yeosang hung up. Yunho looked at him, distressed, like not knowing what to say.

"Yunho, give me Eden's number. Or your phone directly, I need to speak with him,"

Yunho gave his phone right after he dialed Eden's number. Eden answered quickly too. He was surprised to speak with Yeosang and not Yunho. Yeosang related what happened with Aster, and Eden assured him he would investigate. They decided to go home, not staying out anymore. But Yunho refused to let Yeosang go home alone, so he hopped into the taxi with him. The ride wasn't long, and Yeosang felt the need to clear off some Yunho's concerns. He was still looking nervous.

"My family will never hurt you or anyone of the dream club," Yeosang said squeezing Yunho's hand, tracing gentle circle in his palm. "Not even Eden. My grandmother can be protective but, I promise, nothing wrong will happen to you."

Yunho was watching the road, "Why did he call you Destroyer?"

"I don't know," Yeosang honestly answered. He tried to cheer up, "I'm sorry how the evening ended. At least, we got Wooyoung's gifts."

Yunho smiled and Yeosang kept making circles on Yunho's hand until they reached his house.

"See you Friday," Yeosang said getting out of the taxi.

Youngmi was waiting for him at the door. She hugged him tightly. Yeosang relaxed between her strong arms. He felt so safe here, in her fierce embrace. They sat down in their living room. Youngmi informed him what she knew about Aster, and they didn't have much. The Cheong clan encountered him a few months ago, during a drug deal, as a bodyguard. They only discovered he was a child of Pan because he burnt alive his former employer and some of Kyungtae's men recently, gaining informations on Yeosang. He vanished for more than two months after.

That was all they had on him.

Yeosang reassured her. Eden would investigate from his side, and he was good at finding children of Pan. Aster didn't really threaten Yeosang. He mentioned troubling things about him and the place called Neverland. Yeosang didn't consider him as an immediate threat for now, so he refused Youngmi's offer for a bodyguard.

"I think they are the best protection against him," Yeosang declared.

Youngmi conceded that the dream club knew how to protect themselves. She still had troubles gaining information on them, and she respected Yeosang's judgment. She tried to lighten the mood by talking about The Mist, and Yeosang was grateful to occupy his mind with a more pleasant conversation.

Friday evening, Jaein waited for him at the gym counter with the happiest smile Yeosang ever seen. She looked at his face, taking in the damages caused by her husband last week. She finally said, "It's not so bad! I expected worse. You'll be working with me today. Promise, I'll be gentle."

Yeosang followed her into the same room they used last week. After a long session of stretching exercises, Jaein showed Yeosang simple moves. Ones he could execute even with his injuries. Where Taesun was brutal and unapologetic, Jaein was softer and patient. She explained how and where to strike with his elbow. She proceeded to teach him every part of a body he could possibly hit and the effect of the hit. They were sitting on a bench near the wall, drinking when Yeosang felt curious.

"I'm not the only you test like that," Yeosang pointed at his face. "Why?"

"First, we're kinda affiliated to the Cheong clan. Not in their affairs but a lot of guys try to enter the clan through us. You would be surprise how many confident men enter, spent like five minutes with me or Taesun and leave," she laughed. "Mr Cheong is extremely careful when recruiting men."

Yeosang knew perfectly well how cautious was Kyungtae, but it didn't answer why Yeosang was tested like those men.

"But why did you test me?"

"You came through Dohwa. And because in the clan, you're a weird mystery. People kinda know who you are and your place, but we know nothing of where did you come or who you really are. Mrs Cheong really protects your past. That's why we tested you. To know what you're capable of."

Yeosang was kept at the edge of the clan. Attached enough to benefit from the protection, the money, having a form of belonging, but still free enough to not be involved into illegal affairs.

"And then because there are no rules in a street fight, sweetie," Jaein smiled. "Self-defence is ugly, you need to know how to receive a punch before throwing one. You need to be able to ignore the pain in your body to keep fighting. It's a matter of death or life. Ignore the pain, lash out and then be the only one walking away still standing. But you already know all of that, because you kept fighting and would not be here if you weren't aware."

Yeosang was aware. He lost more fights that he would have wanted to when he was homeless. Jaein rolled her pant to expose her shin to reveal a large pink scar going from her ankle almost to her knee.

"I was assaulted when I was seventeen," she said. "I was barely out of the hospital when I signed up for a self-defence class and a taekwondo class. I ripped three stitches the first hour and I got yelled at by the teacher but he understood why I was there."

Yeosang pulled back up his right sleeve, enough to expose a part of his shoulder. He could feel the scar under his fingers. Yeosang explained briefly. "I was fifteen. Met a guy with a knife. Barely escaped. I stitched the wound myself."

Jaein whistled, impressed. Oddly, Yeosang felt safe sharing his scars here, in the small gym room where he was beaten last week. Jaein shared one of her stories. Yeosang felt he could share one of his past. Sharing this story felt like lifting a weight. He thought about the dream club and how they would react seeing his scars and old wounds, how he got them. How he survived.

Maybe one day, they'll be close enough to share this part of Yeosang's life.

They ended today's class with stretching exercice and Yeosang thanked Jaein, and wished her a good week. He got home safely, took a shower before getting dressed for movie night and Wooyoung's birthday. Yeosang gave a quick hug to Youngmi before leaving.

Yeosang had not even removed his shoes that Wooyoung was already in the hallway screaming because he spotted Yeosang's bag. He gave it to Wooyoung, telling him to not open it before midnight. Wooyoung thanked him and informed Yeosang that he banned all serious talks about powers or dreams tonight and during his birthday.

Yeosang finally met Jongho, the last one of the dream club. He was the youngest in the group but seemed more mature than half of them. He was quiet and calm at first but still funny. Yeosang chatted with him about college, discovering Jongho studied sports. They debated about football for a moment, and Yeosang told him about his self-defence class. Jongho was definitely interested in learning skateboard too. Usually, sports students lived in a dormitory, but because of Jongho's nature, the college let him lived at Eden's place. Yeosang wanted to ask about his power, but he remembered that Wooyoung banned talking about powers.

Yeosang ate too much but didn't drink. Soju bottles were on the table, but he didn't feel like drinking tonight. He was half asleep on the couch when midnight roll around. Yeosang almost jumped when they shouted "happy birthday" to Wooyoung who beamed with joy. He hugged them all, even Yeosang who felt still sore from last week. Wooyoung started opening his presents. Yunho didn't lie when he said this would turn into a fashion runway. Almost all the gifts were clothes related. Mingi played the role of the stylist, and Wooyoung was just happy, showing off his new clothes, slightly tipsy and giggling.

Hongjoong was clinging to Seonghwa on the couch, probably drunk as Yeosang saw him drink soju almost all night and Seonghwa stopped him from drinking more. He spotted Yeosang and got up. He wobbled towards him. Hongjoong pressed their foreheads together and cupped Yeosang's cheeks between his hands. Yeosang could feel like his skin was burning under Hongjoong's touch. Maybe Hongjoong was using his power without really realising it.

"You're here," he said with a small voice.

"Yes, I am," Yeosang replied. "I was invited, remember?"

"No, no, you don't understand. You're here," Hongjoong closed his eyes. "I can touch you. I can feel you."

Yeosang chuckled at his drunk rambling, "Of course you can, I'm real."

"Don't laugh, I've waited eight years to meet the real you. You're the first I've dreamt of, and you're the last I've met," he pouted. He opened his eyes to stare at Yeosang. His glaze was so intense goosebumps ran down Yeosang's spine. "I'm so glad you're here. It feels nice to touch you."

Seonghwa got up from the couch and took Hongjoong back to him with an apologetic look. He mouthed a "Sorry". He offered water to Hongjoong who drank it like a shot. Yeosang didn't really know why Seonghwa apologised, but he appreciated not having an intense and drunk Hongjoong in front of him anymore. Yeosang took a deep breath before going to the other side of the couch where San and Yunho were playing Mario Kart. Wooyoung was banned to play, but everyone knew San's victories were caused by the weird glitches Wooyoung created. No one protested, it was a game to see if they could win against Wooyoung's ability, knowing they would loose anyway. Yeosang started to doze, tired and almost hypnotised by the game.

Yeosang knew he was dreaming the moment he saw ashes fell in his hand from the library's ceiling. He spotted Hongjoong in the library, sitting while riding a book. Hongjoong was hard to miss with his red hair. Everything was quiet, calm and eerie. Yeosang could hear the wind in the trees from the forest outside. Yeosang felt almost glad to see Hongjoong here. Nothing had change since his previous visit except Yeosang's fingers weren't bleeding anymore.

Hongjoong kept reading, absorbed in a wordless book. Yeosang was about to go sit near him when he heard a low whisper. Someone was calling him. It felt like this weird attraction from the ship. Yeosang turned and started to follow this odd feeling, trying to sense where it would lead him. He passed dozens of the library's rows. The whisper was louder but intelligible. Yeosang's steps echoed in the library. He didn't realise how big it was last time. After passing another row, a door appeared.

The door was the same as the captain's cabin's door. Adorned with a goat skull and lilies of the valley. When Yeosang opened the door of the library, he stepped on the fire sand of the desert. He wanted to turn back immediately. Yeosang wanted to go back to the library but the door had disappeared. Panic was slowly creeping under his skin. He didn't want to encounter the bloody stranger again.

And yet, Yeosang felt his presence behind him. He turned his head. And there he was. Blood still pouring from his mouth. Yeosang couldn't move, but the hands coming from the sand were nowhere to be seen. Only his fear glued him to the ground. The stranger stood beside him and Yeosang could observe him better. He was smaller than him, and couldn't be more than thirteen years old. But Yeosang felt he was so much older than his body. His clothes were outdated, like he was coming from an another century. Sand got stuck to the wet blood on his dirty shirt. He looked at Yeosang with the same melancholic eyes as last time. The stranger was on the verge of tears but instead he laughed.

His voice cracked when he said, "Sing a song that will tear the world down."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a lot of Jongho, but he'll be more present next chapter ;)  
> What's your favorite power so far?  
> Don't hesitate to leave kudos or a comment!


	6. Even fog can't break this memory

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know, I know, it took me almost six months to write this chapter.  
> At this point, I just hope it won't take me this long for the next chapter. Thanks all of you for your patience!

The breath Yeosang took to wake up was so sharp he almost choked on it. He felt a hand on his back, rubbing gently. He didn't flinch this time and breathed slowly until his breathing was back to normal. Until his mind was calm again. Some sort of relief washed over Yeosang for not panicking like last time. Wooyoung looked half-asleep while rubbing Yeosang's back. It felt like it wasn't unusual for him to soothe someone waking up abruptly. Yeosang didn't know how long he fell asleep but the tv was off and San's arms were wrapped around Wooyoung's torso, sleeping with his head on Wooyoung's shoulder.

"Here, drink this."

Yeosang looked up to see Seonghwa handing him a glass of water. Yeosang didn't hear Seonghwa going to the kitchen. He took it, slowly drinking the fresh water. Yeosang concentrated on the cold sensation in his throat to ground himself. When he finished, Yeosang could feel the interrogating stare of Seonghwa. He only thanked him, giving back the emptied glass. Wooyoung didn't stop rubbing Yeosang's back, it was slower like he was almost falling asleep while doing it. Seonghwa took the glass and went to the kitchen, still looking concerned.

"I know I said no serious talk on my birthday, but if you really want to, it's ok," Wooyoung whispered to him.

"No, it's nothing," Yeosang replied. "Just a nightmare."

"Yeah... they suck," Wooyoung said. "You're sure you're fine?"

Yeosang nodded. He closed his eyes, focusing on the warm body beside him. It felt so foreign. Having someone next to him. The last time Yeosang could remember sleeping with someone next to him was almost a year ago, when he felt asleep next to Yeri during a movie they were watching in her apartment. It was so long ago. And Yeosang didn't really know if he liked it or not, but he was way too tired to think about it. He just accepted the warmth next to him for tonight and tried to go back to sleep.

Yeosang was not awakened by dreams.

Morning was strangely quiet. Yeosang woke up early, and Yunho was sleeping on his legs, using them as a pillow. He was considerably bigger with his human form than his dog one. Yeosang moved slowly away from him. Yunho readjusted himself on the couch after loosing his pillow. Almost as he was concerned anyone could hear, Yeosang whispered. "You're lucky I didn't kick you during the night."

Yunho shifted, but didn't wake up. Yeosang went to the kitchen where Seonghwa was already up with Jongho. Sitting from the counter, Yeosang could survey all the living room. He could see how Yunho was still sleeping, spreading his long arms practically touching the pile Wooyoung and San formed together under a blanket. Hongjoong and Mingi weren't on the couch, and Yeosang couldn't blame Hongjoong. He drank quite a lot last night, and probably preferred to sleep in his own bedroom. Yeosang asked himself how Hongjoong's power would affect his hangover.

He gently smiled, "You can ask."

"Ask?"

"You know everyone's power. So you can ask about mine," Jongho tilted his head, like he was waiting for the question.

"I thought Wooyoung didn't want serious talk on his birthday."

"He's sleeping right now. And Hwa won't say a thing to him."

Yeosang definitely liked Jongho's mischievious side. He looked serious, but Yeosang learnt quickly Jongho was a bit weird and loved to joke around. He wasn't afraid to defy the rules. And right now, he was taking advantage of being the only ones awake. Seonghwa was observing them still looking half-asleep, drinking from his mug. Yeosang noticed a hickey on Seonghwa's neck, but he didn't mention a thing about it and redirected his attention on Jongho.

"So," Yeosang started, glancing briefly at Wooyoung still asleep, "What's your power?"

"I can create force-field shields around me or objects," Jongho said happily like he was divulging the biggest secret of his life to Yeosang. "Like a protective bubble or wall."

This was a nice power thought Yeosang. He imagined how his life would have been easier if he had this power. How defending himself would have been so much easier. A part of Yeosang wished he possessed this power. Another part of him whispered he gained other ways to protect himself. Yeosang still felt jealous. "You must use it often. It's quite a convenient power."

Jongho hesitated. Seonghwa answered, "Yeah, useful. But not when his mind stay stuck at five years old for hours after."

"I almost never use it," Jongho shrugged still smiling. "Only if I know I can be supervised after."

"To be fair, you're a cute five years old," Yunho said behind them.

He yawned, showing his canines, slightly too big to be entirely human. His hair was a mess, and he didn't seem to care. He grabbed some cereal from the pantry and started eating slowly. Jongho told Yeosang that Yunho usually kept him company during his compensation. He worked with kids and babysitting Jongho was easy for him. They all kept him company, but five years old Jongho adored Yunho for some reasons.

Yeosang heard a dull noise behind him. He looked only to see Wooyoung had pushed San from the couch to the ground. And this seemed like an ordinary thing because no one moved to help San, who was barely awake, grumbling while sitting up. At least, he didn't bash his head against the table. Wooyoung snickered at him, but still helped him getting up. They eventually joined them in the kitchen, bickering and pushing each other. Hoongjoong and Mingi showed up too, and the kitchen felt crowed. Hongjoong seemed absolutely fine even after drinking last night.

Yeosang asked Hongjoong where Eden was. The apartment belonged to him after all but Yeosang never really saw him here. Eden occupied more his office than home. He never stayed long in the apartment, even though he had a bedroom here. He worked so hard and late on his cases sometimes he just preferred to sleep on the couch in his office.

Seeing more than two or three persons in a kitchen still felt foreign to Yeosang. They were eight, louder that what Yeosang was used to. Yeosang thought about the children of Pan's marks. Except for Seonghwa and Hongjoong, he never noticed where the rest of the group was marked. He wondered where they could be. Yeosang was concentrating on Mingi's iron sphere, lost in his thoughts, when they started debating where they were going to eat for Wooyoung's birthday.

"Want to come with us?" Yunho asked.

Yeosang wasn't listening. He didn't catch if they chose a place. "Where?"

"There's a new place I wanted to try," Wooyoung said. "We're open to suggestions, though."

"We're not that far from The Mist," Yeosang offered. "I know a private room is available today, and I can pay. I just need to let Youngmi know we're coming."

Seonghwa choked in his mug. He coughed loudly, trying to breathe properly. It took him three deep breaths before he spoke. "I don't think I'm ready to see your grandmother again."

"Just because of Seonghwa's reaction," Wooyoung cheered. "I vote to go to The Mist!"

"Was it that bad?" San asked.

"No offense Yeosang, but she's scary."

"It was months ago. She kinda likes you now," Yeosang said. "I'm sure she would be glad to meet you."

"Then, it's decided!" Wooyoung seemed so happy. "Since I'm the birthday boy, I decide! And I wanna see Mafia Grandma!"

The nickname was endearing and it made Yeosang laugh. They all went readying themselves to go outside. Yeosang hoped the rest of the world wouldn't overwhelm too much Wooyoung's power. He took his phone to warn Youngmi about their plan and to make sure one of the private rooms was still available.

During their trip in the subway, San and Yunho kept Wooyoung distracted, keeping their voices low. Mingi had his iron sphere in his hand at first and then hide it jacket's inside pocket. It kept him calm and focus, he had said to Yeosang, since there was so much iron surrounding them. Mingi just could feel it everywhere around him when he took the subway or walk outside. He tried to explain how magnets worked to Yeosang and how he could affect them too, but Yeosang understood only half of the scientific therms Mingi used. It still was incredibly impressive and Yeosang admired the dedication Mingi had to completely comprehend how his power operated. Traveling with so many people was a novelty for Yeosang, so used to transit alone or with only one other person.

They let Yeosang guide them around the streets. They arrived at The Mist, and despite being a Saturday, it was still early and not all the tables were occupied. Yeri almost dropped her tray looking at Yeosang with immense eyes. She threw herself at Yeosang, grabbing him by the arm and taking him aside. Waiters sent them frowning looks, but she didn't care. Even the clients weren't disturbed that much, only regulars came this early on a Saturday and they knew to not meddle.

"Of all the place you could've gone eating with them, you chose here," she whispered.

"They chose. And Youngmi can meet all of them," Yeosang whispered back, sure they wouldn't overhear him.

Yeri relaxed after a minute, but she looked directly at Seonghwa. Hongjoong stepped in front of him, smiling to Yeri. She returned to her work, not without glancing at them one last time. Yeosang directed them towards the privates rooms. In front of the rooms, Youngmi was waiting for them.

"Welcome." She smiled politely. "It's nice to finally meet all of you."

They bowed, respectful. Seonghwa was behind everyone, clearly uncomfortable. Maybe he recalled how Youngmi threatened him last time he visited The Mist. Hongjoong stepped in front of all of them, presenting himself. He introduced everyone else, and Yeosang recognised how Youngmi was actively memorising every single one of them. Yeosang was sure if he asked her about which one of them had ear piercing or another distinctive feature, she would answer correctly. She remembered faces like no one.

"Oh, I like this one, Sangie," Youngmi giggled at the joke Jongho just made. "I hope you'll enjoy the food."

They entered the room, and she departed from them. Yeosang wondered who would be their waiter, but he didn't have to wait long to know, Yeri came in with the menus. She immediately let them know that she was the reason for the ponytail video. Yeosang could see the "why" in Seonghwa's expression, and he just shrugged. Yeosang didn't know why he liked this video and song so much. It was just silly and made him happy. Yeosang ended up between Seonghwa and Yunho.

Yeri made fun of him because he looked so tiny between the two giants men. Yeosang had the perfect comeback, but Seonghwa put his hand on his thigh and Yeosang's mind froze. Fortunately, San and Wooyoung came to his rescue, laughing so hard they distracted Yeri. Seonghwa's hand left his thigh, and he placed them on the table where Yeosang could see them. They all ordered, following Yeri's and Yeosang's recommendations. And Yeosang blessed Jongho asking Seonghwa about his next ASMR video.

"I don't really know yet. Maybe clothes or pretty books. I received a lot of good comments last time when I just played with my sleeves."

Yeosang tried to listen to ASMR multiple times, but it never really clicked for him. He enjoyed the visual of some of them, but he'd rather go outside skateboarding instead of listening soft sounds. Something about people whispering for too long just creeped him a little. However, he wondered what Seonghwa's video looked like.

"When did you start your channel?" Yeosang genuinely asked. "Why ASMR?"

Seonghwa looked surprised by the sudden question. "Hum, maybe two years ago. ASMR is very soothing to me. It helped me a lot, when," he hesitated, lowering his voice, "we all come back. This is why I started doing it."

They never mentioned how they felt this time, or really what happened to them. When they came back. Seonghwa never talked about his past. Neither of them had talked about it. Yeosang couldn't remember if they ever mentioned their family. And Yeosang didn't feel like asking. The way Seonghwa responded sounded too painful, and not a pleasant conversation to engage in during Wooyoung's birthday. To be fair, himself never talked about his difficult past. He avoided it as much as he could. But the little voice in his head murmured they would understand his struggles because they experienced terrible things too.

Yeosang felt so relieved when the door opened with Yeri delivering their food. Once she left and they started eating, Yeosang wanted to conclude their discussion on a good note for today. "If you ever need something, for your ASMR, let me know. I can get it for you."

The bashful smile Yeosang received completely melted his heart. The small "thank" he received was adorable. He noticed Hongjoong was smiling too, listening. From the beginning, he was trying to keep in line San and Wooyoung who just wanted to order everything on the menu like two excited kids. But now they were served, he could focus more on Seonghwa and Yeosang.

"Is it a flower on your head?!" Wooyoung screeched pointing at Seonghwa.

"Oh my god! Yes!" San almost jumped from his seat.

Seonghwa disappeared quickly behind Hongjoong, hiding behind his back before Yeosang could see anything. Yeosang didn't realise what happened right away but he remembered when Yunho explained their emotions could influence their powers. He simply didn't realise what he said was that meaningful, at least for Seonghwa.

"Does the thought of Yeosang buying you stuff for your ASMR make you happy, babe?" Hongjoong laughed sweetly, teasing Seonghwa.

Yeosang almost didn't hear the question because of how loud San and Wooyoung were laughing. Even Mingi was trying to see Seonghwa's head. Eventually, Hongjoong calmed everyone and Seonghwa emerged from behind Hongjoong's back. And Yeosang could see it. A beautiful tiny red flower bloomed right behind Seonghwa's ear. They were bright red and Seonghwa didn't meet Yeosang's eyes but he kept his leg pressed against Yeosang's.

"One day, I'll murder you in your sleep," Seonghwa pointed at Wooyoung and San, but the threat felt empty.

"Remember, violence is not the answer," Hongjoong said.

"But always an option," Yeosang smiled. Wooyoung and Jongho laughed loudly.

Hongjoong started to talk about the last song he was working on, distracting almost everyone from Seonghwa. When he wasn't with Eden, he made music. He was self-taught, and even though it wasn't an easy path Hongjoong enjoyed where he was currently. Seonghwa's plucked his flower at some point and it withered instantly. Wooyoung complimented the food, and they started debating about their favorite dishes.

Yeosang didn't really know how he survived the entire lunch with Seonghwa's warm thigh touching his own. Somehow it helped Yeosang to ground himself, to focus on the conversations around him. Yeosang didn't talk that much, but he listened. San and Wooyoung started dating three years ago. Seonghwa liked building Gundam figures while Hongjoong had a soft spot for Minions. Once, Yunho completed a movie marathon of all the Harry Potter films and that's how the idea to transform into a snake formed in his mind for the first time. Yeosang saw Wooyoung giving his bell peppers to Jongho. When Mingi laughed, his iron sphere became more cone shaped.

Yeosang's curious mind wondered what they could see behind his own actions. What they could decipher. If they noticed minor details like he did. Yeosang thought about Hongjoong's gaze and how it felt like being known sometimes. Like Hongjoong could unravel who Yeosang was deep down. Seonghwa cared. They all did. They all cared so much about each other and although Yeosang wasn't sure he could consider himself entirely part of their group, they tried so much to care about him too.

_Like you did once for them._

Yeosang didn't linger on his intrusive thoughts. They were like odd whispers that didn't make sense. He redirected his attention to Yeri and helped her a bit to clean up the table from the plates.

"Tell your grandmother it was delicious," San said to him walking towards the entrance.

Yeosang had told the group he would stay at The Mist after lunch. In front of the restaurant, the smile on Wooyoung was enough to let Yeosang know how happy he was. Hongjoong was the last to thank him, wishing him a good week. Hongjoong didn't have to ask if Yeosang would come next Friday, he knew he would. Yeosang waved at them until he saw them disappear after a street turn.

Youngmi's office was empty when Yeosang entered. She joined him after a little while. She must have been busy giving instruction in the kitchen and to the waiters. She sat at her desk. Yeosang couldn't imagine someone else sitting there, except for Kyungtae. Joy looked good on Youngmi. Right now, she reminded him of the elderly ladies in their neighboorhood getting giddy when they learnt new gossips. Endearment felt nice, and Yeosang liked this feeling. He really couldn't imagine his life without this woman.

"I'm glad you brought them here." She sounded delighted. "It's good to be able to put faces on their names. I'm just surprised your texts were quite short."

"One of them is sort of a tech genius," Yeosang said. "Didn't really want to write how I wanted you to be able to identify them."

She chuckled. They discussed about them, and Youngmi listened to everything Yeosang told about the dream club. Yeosang had spent the last two weeks debating with himself if he should inform Youngmi about their powers. When, he decided to do so; he knew his trust would not be broken. If Yeosang asked, and he would demand, their privacy would be respected. She was aware how he felt safe with the dream club. And Yeosang's safety meant so much to her she wouldn't invade the dream club life. And she meant so much to him that Yeosang wouldn't imagine keeping their powers forever a secret. He didn't elaborate a lot about their compensations, but he explained their powers. At least what he witnessed and how Hongjoong soothed his pain last time. Wooyoung's power sparked some interest from Youngmi.

"They've been doing a excellent job so far at protecting themselves," she said. "Probably thanks to this Jung Wooyoung. There leave no traces wherever they go. No wonder I couldn't find anything on them!"

"I'm pretty sure he deleted today's security footage," Yeosang stated.

Youngmi smiled. "Even if you're not a child like them, you still found valuable friends."

He agreed. Wooyoung's hugs felt like Youngmi's, warm and safe. He liked earing Wooyoung and San bicker. Mingi and Jongho were fun to be around. Yunho was like a giant teddy bear. He really found good people in the dream club. And his heart warmed up every Friday he went. Even though he almost stabbed them the first time, they weren't mad about it. But Yeosang remembered Seonghwa's hand on his thigh. He remembered how Hongjoong looked at him intensly when he had been drunk and how he sweetly laughed at his jokes.

Yeosang hated this selfish part of himself, wanting Hongjoong and Seonghwa. One of them. Maybe both of them. He hated the thought of breaking them apart. But he hated the thought of not being with them.

"Just tell him to keep his nose away from our affairs, and we'll have no problem." Youngmi's voice felt still cheerful, and it stopped Yeosang's thoughts.

Yeosang knew she was still talking about Wooyoung. He remembered to pass the warning, and he was pretty sure Wooyoung would not be too nosy about the Cheong's clan. But Yeosang was almost certain he already conducted his researches. Yeosang admired how Youngmi could still threaten someone maintaining the brightest smile on her face, and he wished he was capable of that. Maybe one day. He was learning from the best after all.

Weeks passed by. Christmas was around the corner, and Yeosang didn't really realise how time passed quickly. It didn't take him long to accustomise to his new routine. He started working again and was glad to see The Mist again. Youngmi allowed him to come back at The Mist, but not everyday. He worked only three days a week. Every Friday he had his self-defense classes, and then movie night with the Dream Club where he usually stayed the night. Sometimes he spent the entire Saturday with them. Maybe Wooyoung knew about Yeosang telling about their powers to Youngmi, but he never mentioned it.

They still gave him heavy-hearted looks when Yeosang showed up at their door every Friday with new injuries. San sometimes was looking at Yeosang like it troubled him to be unable to heal Yeosang's wounds. Yeosang kept ignoring their concerns. He was getting used to it. He let Hongjoong used his power on him only twice, when the painkiller was too weak to take care of broken fingers.

A way to avoid them talking too much about his wounds was to spend his Saturday afternoon in Seonghwa's greenhouse. He adored that place. Once he laid a few hours on the wood bench listening to the rain falling down on the glass soothed by Seonghwa's voice talking about his favorite snacks and plants. Yeosang also liked how Hongjoong's hair was fading to a lighter pink. It suited him.

The more Yeosang spent time with Hongjoong and Seonghwa, bigger the ache in his heart developed. And yet, he simply didn't want to stop seeing them. He had dreamt of them once, playing by the ancient ship in the rain of ashes. He just could deal with his little crush himself and was persuaded he would fade away with time. Yeosang associated this with the novelty of being so cared after. It would go away.

Yeosang had a rough session today with Taesun. He split his lips again, broke another finger, making a total of three, his knuckles were a mess of tiny open wounds and he already spotted a huge bruise on his right leg. At this point, his collection of bruises just kept growing. And his ankle was starting to hurt too. He was glad the black eye he got two weeks ago had almost disappeared.

Yeosang was resting next to Wooyoung, enjoying the softness of a big blanket. They all ate early, Yunho and Mingi were choosing the movie for tonight. San was in front of them, playing on his laptop. They couldn't see the screen but Wooyoung still liked giving instructions on how San should play. Every so often, San squinted his eyes at Wooyoung or told him to leave him playing however he liked, expressing his annoyance but Yeosang knew it was purely for show. They bickered a lot, but at the end, they just loved each other. Wooyoung stopped and stared at Hongjoong's phone on the table which rang seconds later. Eden's name illuminated the screen. Wooyoung's power amazed Yeosang as much as it frightened him. San stopped playing to observe the ringing phone. Yeosang heard Wooyoung muttering, "Ooh, seems bad."

Hongjoong, coming from the kitchen, took the call. He frowned almost immediately after hearing Eden's voice. Yeosang only got one side of the conversation but Wooyoung seemed to hear the entire exchange. He leaned on Yeosang's shoulder.

"You can borrow one of my hoodies," Wooyoung offered. "You're going out with Hongjoong and Eden, and it's freezing outside."

Yeosang didn't have time to ask questions, Hongjoong looked at him. Hongjoong was an expressive man. He didn't hide what he was feeling, and when he tried, his expressions usually betrayed him. Yeosang learnt it during the past weeks. He often saw Hongjoong observing him, and turning his eyes away each time he realised Yeosang caught him staring. Yeosang found it as amusing as tiring. He simply didn't know really how to act around Hongjoong sometimes. Especially since Seonghwa's delight seemed to fluster Yeosang as much as he could.

"Eden wants you to come," Hongjoong said as if he was unsure why Eden requested Yeosang.

Yeosang could refuse. He could stay with Wooyoung and San playing video games. He could stay and help Seonghwa cleaning the living room because he was a good guest. Jongho was with them tonight. Yeosang could talk to him a bit more. It was movie night. They would start as soon as Mingi and Yunho had chosen. And yet, he desperately wanted to know the reason why Eden wanted him. _Breath in. Breath out._

Yeosang simply said, "Let's go."

Getting out of the warm comfortable couch appeared to be quite hard with his injuries. Yeosang grunted between his teeth and it got him a concerned look from almost everyone in the room. Thousands of thoughts were racing in Yeosang's mind. Where would Eden take them? What had happened on that required Yeosang's presence? Yeosang thought about Aster too. How he stayed awfully quiet for the past weeks.

Eden was waiting for them in his own car, the headlights illuminating the rain. It wasn't a very luxurious car, just a mundane grey car that could go anywhere without getting too much attention. Yeosang sat in the back while Hongjoong hopped in the front. Eden started driving as soon as Hongjoong closed his door. He handed a tiny notebook to Hongjoong. Yeosang didn't know if he could ask anything but he needed to know. He leaned forwards, trying to read over Hongjoong's shoulders. Eden's voice surprised Yeosang.

"Someone's dead. Murdered."

Yeosang still didn't get why it had a link to him. He waited for Eden's elaboration, but Hongjoong was the one who gave him the answer.

"We were contacted by the Cheong's clan. It's about one of us," he said, a form of sadness in his voice.

Yeosang started to understand why Eden thought he was needed. He was a mediator.

They drove almost an hour before reaching their destination. Yeosang didn't see any police lights. He wasn't surprised. If the Cheong's clan called them, Yeosang was sure the police would stay out of their way. The buildings must have been deserted years ago. An old abandoned construction site where nature overgrew on the concrete walls. The rain stopped during their journey, but the air was so cold and humid, it felt almost hard to breath when they got out of the car. Maybe Yeosang should have borrowed Wooyoung's hoodie after all.

Lights from the various cars there reflected from the wet asphalt. It looked beautiful and menacing at once. Yeosang spotted Yue first. If the man was surprised to see Yeosang there, he didn't reveal it but he raised an eyebrow. Kyungtae was no where to be seen, but Yeosang knew he was aware of what happened. Yeosang wondered if Yue requested him or if it was Eden's choice. Kyungtae would never want Yeosang on a crime scene. Yeosang even wondered if Eden and Yue ever saw each other before. Only a few men were present with Yue and Yeosang recognized one of the bodyguards.

They greeted each other but Yeosang could see how stiff Hongjoong was when he bowed. Yeosang's injuries flared up when he bowed too. Yeosang could understand why Yue could be terrifying. He wasn't particularly tall or strong looking, but he gave off an aura of danger. Yue seemed always calm and composed and his piercing black eyes could freeze anyone. The fact he stayed polite on any circumstances could be unsettling for anyone. They all followed Yue into the building, except the men who stayed outside.

"Never seen a body?" Eden asked with a sorry look. He had. Years ago. But Yeosang could barely call what he had in front of him a body.

Burned to almost nothing, only a few bones and the skull had survived the fire. The faint smell of burnt flesh had almost vanished due to the rain, but was still present when Yeosang walked close to the body. However, Yeosang could clearly see the blood path. The poor guy must have been hurt severely and then dragged on the floor before being burnt. Yeosang observed the body a few minutes. He hoped the poor guy didn't suffer too long. When he realised no one was talking, he saw how Eden and Hongjoong looked at him like they were waiting for an answer.

"Mr Kang is perfectly fine. It's nothing he hasn't seen before," Yue responded for him. Hongjoong looked surprised but Eden just shrugged it off and focused on why they were called.

"What can you tell me about him?" Eden asked Yue.

"Child of Pan. Not really our but worked for us a few times. The building is ours. And the Aster problem too."

Eden crouched near the bones, asking more questions to Yue. Yeosang wondered what Eden could pick up with his power. Yeosang didn't know when Hongjoong got the notebook out, but he was writing down what Yue was divulging about the dead man and Eden's observations. Yeosang thought he would fulfil a bigger role in this affair, but he just listened. Eden couldn't get what power had the dead man. Yue filled the gaps, giving Eden informations. But Yeosang recognised the tone Yue employed, he wasn't revealing them everything, like he was trying to protect something. Yeosang assumed it was linked to one of Kyungtae's affairs.

Yeosang looked up, towards the stairs. Something was not right. Missing. Like it didn't make sense. He didn't understand why Aster would kill a child of Pan. Maybe Aster was utterly insane, but Yeosang couldn't believe this theory. Yeosang observed the rest of the building around them. The headlights outside weren't strong enough to illuminate everything inside. Something moved at the end of the stairs. Yeosang couldn't see much, but he started walking towards it. They didn't notice him getting away, too focused on the body and what Eden was picking on it with his power.

His phone's flashlight illuminated the scene in front of him. Yeosang almost drop it when he saw the stairs. His breath stopped in his throat. Yeosang had seen dead bodies before. He had seen disgusting and severe wounds. He never shied away from blood. He had grown used to violence.

"DESTROYER"

The word on the stairs was almost glaring at Yeosang with an angry brownish red. This was his missing piece. Down the stairs, a thin black letter was waiting for Yeosang. He couldn't be for anyone else. Only Aster called Yeosang like that. Yeosang grabbed the letter, opened it and got a small card out.

" _To die will be an awfully big adventure_. Maybe if I start killing people like us, you'll remember the tragedy you forced us into."

Guilt had a weird taste in his mouth. The man died only because Yeosang could not remember. Closing his eyes, Yeosang breathed so deeply he felt the iron aftertaste of blood on his tongue. It was probably his cut lip but it strangely grounded him. Reminded him why he was there.

Aster gave him a reason.

Yeosang needed his memories back. To prevent another murder. There weren't many children of Pan in Korea left, and Yeosang knew Aster would be capable of attacking the dream club if he really wanted to. The memo was a threat. Yeosang needed his memories back to protect them.

_To die will be an awfully big adventure._

Why this sentence sounded so familiar? For a moment Yeosang could picture the stranger from his dreams saying this. He could almost hear it right now. So young and cheerful. Yeosang could almost feel the warmth of the sun on his skin, despite the freezing air around him. He could almost hear the stranger reciting this like the world represented his own personal stage. The giggles echoed in his ears. He saw him, smiling, without a drop of blood on him, like he was flying in the air.

"And to live will be an awfully big adventure," Yeosang whispered back without realising it.

"Yeosang?"

Yeosang turned around so quickly he heard his neck crack. Hongjoong stared at him weirdly, whereas Eden and Yue seemed to be talking about the blood letters on the stairs from afar while keeping an eye on Yeosang.

"Are you fine?" Hongjoong asked squeezing Yeosang's shoulder.

Yeosang handed the card to Hongjoong, who brought it to Eden and Yue. Hongjoong came back, his shoulders touching Yeosang's. In the dim light and with their big sweaters and coats, Yeosang was sure neither Eden nor Yue could have seen when Hongjoong took his hand. Hongjoong starting rubbing gently Yeosang's hand. The lack of pain from his broken fingers surprised Yeosang at first, but he didn't have the heart to say stop to Hongjoong's power right now. He felt like it was Hongjoong's way to reassure Yeosang, and he welcomed it by squeezing lightly Hongjoong's hand. It didn't last long. Hongjoong let go of Yeosang's hand to look at Eden and Yue still talking.

"Did you hear it?" Yeosang whispered.

"Heard what?"

Hongjoong frowned at Yeosang. Before Hongjoong could ask anything to Yeosang, Eden called them, telling Yeosang and Hongjoong he gathered everything he could. Yeosang heard Yue saying the remains of the body will be taken care off. Yue stared at Yeosang and pointed the ground next to himself. Kyungtae taught Yeosang the little hands gestures he used with his most trustworthy men. This meant a direct order. Yeosang had to stay.

"Go ahead, I just need to speak with him," Yeosang said. Hongjoong looked at Yeosang, so unsure if he should be staying or not. Yeosang mouthed, "I'm good." Hongjoong walked towards the car, but not without watching them intensely.

"The wounds are new," Yue stated, looking at Eden and Hongjoong getting in the car.

"I had a rough day at the gym."

"We tolerated the detective because it concerned a child of Pan. But Mr Kang, do you realise you were not supposed to be here today?"

The cold air was almost burning in Yeosang's lungs. So it was Eden's decision to bring Yeosang. It didn't really surprise him after all. Kyungtae, and especially Youngmi, would never let Yeosang roam on a crime scene committed by an unstable arsonist who threatened him weeks ago. But right now, he didn't want to argue with Yue in an abandoned building, a body behind them.

"If you ever catch Aster, please don't kill him. He knows things we don't and need."

"I can't promise anything."

Yeosang went to the car without looking back. The road was practically empty, and Eden was carefully driving. Yeosang could see Hongjoong getting asleep, watching outside as the street lights illuminated his face. In a way, Yeosang was glad they didn't spend hours on the site. He felt drained of all his energy, but his mind was questioning why would Eden bring him. When, he thought about his odd deja-vu, he realised something.

"Did you try to trigger memories by bringing me here?" Yeosang asked directly looking at Eden's rearview mirror.

Eden sighed. He seemed tired too. "Maybe. Aster thinks you're responsible for something. It was worth a try."

"Do not push your luck Eden. They tolerated you today. Try to not upset Kyungtae if you ever want to have infos on Aster. Or to bring me again on the field."

They didn't talk until they arrived near their apartment. They came back late but they found everyone on the couch watching a movie. Yeosang thought they would be sleeping by now. He felt exhausted and just wanted to take a shower and sleep. The group had just waited for them to come back. Everyone, except Seonghwa and Hongjoong, wished Yeosang a good night before going in their bedrooms. When Wooyoung hugged Yeosang, he asked if he was fine.

"Yeah, just tired," Yeosang answered. "Gonna take a shower and sleep."

He already took a shower after his class earlier, but after stepping on a murder scene, he felt like he needed another one. Yeosang thought he would be alone in the living room when he came back from his shower but Hongjoong and Seonghwa were waiting for him on the couch. Yeosang sat between them, resting his head on the backseat. His body felt heavy from tiredness. He closed his eyes. He really needed to sleep. Yeosang felt thankful Hongjoong relieved him from his hand's pain earlier.

"What did you hear back there?" Hongjoong asked in a soft voice as he seemed afraid of waking everyone.

"I don't really know," Yeosang said back. "Giggles, like the ones in our dreams. The sentence felt like a weird deja-vu too."

"What sentence?" Seonghwa interrogated.

Yeosang wondered if Hongjoong told Seonghwa about today, about Aster and about the murder. Maybe. Maybe not. Yeosang simply recited the sentence from the card, "To die will be an awfully big adventure."

Seonghwa seemed puzzled by it. He hesitated before replying in a breathy, _"_ And to live will be an awfully big adventure."

Yeosang opened his eyes so fast and looked at Seonghwa who still had a no idea why he said that. Hongjoong seemed as shocked as Seonghwa was. Hongjoong touched Yeosang's shoulder. "That's what you said back there! How could he've known?"

"How do you feel?" Yeosang asked Seonghwa.

"Strangely warm."

Yeosang felt that too, this warmth. His eyes started to close again from how exhausted Yeosang felt, so he let his head fall on Seonghwa's shoulder. His thoughts were all over the place and non-existent at the same time. He really needed sleep.

"So you and Eden were right about triggering memories?"

"Let's talk about that tomorrow," Yeosang sighed so loudly. Seonghwa was rubbing soothing circles on his thigh. Yeosang didn't want him to stop, despite the fact he was touching a sensitive bruise. Seonghwa didn't press it too firmly.

"Yeah, you're right. We'll ask the others about it tomorrow too." Hongjoong's whispers and yawns didn't help keeping Yeosang awake.

Seonghwa's hand shifted from his thigh to his hair, brushing away strands from Yeosang's face. "Will you be fine sleeping alone tonight?"

Yeosang was used to being alone at night. "Yunho will probably shift and sleep on my legs, so I'm not really alone."

"Do you want one of us to stay? Or there's place in our bed. What would you prefer?"

Yeosang wasn't sure they heard him half mumble. "I don't care. Just sleepy."

At this point, he trusted them enough. He could think about his little crush on them later. He just wanted to sleep. Yeosang barely noticed when Seonghwa picked him from the couch or where he was taking him, because Seonghwa, probably helped by Hongjoong, must have been careful enough with his injuries. Or maybe Hongjoong used a bit more of his power, Yeosang wasn't sure. When his head hit a pillow, he fell asleep instantly.

Yeosang woke up feeling drowsy, like his energy was still all drained from last night. He rolled on his side, almost sure he would fall from the couch. But he wasn't on the couch and the pillow under his head was incredibly soft. He inhaled deeply only to feel the pain rush in all of his body. He swore under his breath. Yeosang heard a sigh next to him and looked. Hongjoong was still in the bed with him, apparently waking up.

"Hi."

"You sleep like a starfish," Hongjoong mumbled. Yeosang couldn't stop himself from chuckling. He spread a lot in his own bed too. "How do you feel?"

"Could be worse."

"Could be better. Don't force yourself for us," Hongjoong said stretching a hand to fondle Yeosang's head. "Let's get breakfast."

Yeosang didn't examine their bedroom, still feeling sleepy and in pain, but even in the dim lit room he spotted the figures Seonghwa told him about. He didn't feel like he was intruding though, because Seonghwa would never have transported him here for the night. A tiny part of his mind was freaking out about the fact he slept in Seonghwa and Hongjoong's bed with them. But Yeosang used the pain to ground himself.

When everyone was awake and had breakfast, Hongjoong summoned them in the living room. Seonghwa sat between Yeosang and Wooyoung. Yunho, strangely sat on the ground, right before Yeosang, his back touching Yeosang's legs. Maybe he missed him last night. Yunho always ended his night on the couch with Yeosang.

Hongjoong told them about last night, and none of them seemed to be surprised. He didn't detail about the body. Yeosang noticed how Mingi's sphere was vibrating. Hongjoong advised them to be even more careful when they were going outside, and Yeosang could compare his speech with Youngmi's. Hongjoong didn't describe how the word "destroyer" had been written, but he informed them about the card.

"I don't get it, though," San interrupted. "Why "destroyer"? It doesn't make sense."

"Well, he clearly knows more than us about that," Hongjoong replied. "And I don't think he's wrong about Yeosang."

"About the destroyer part?"

"That maybe he's part of the reason we all came back."

Silence felt way too heavy. Yeosang wanted to vanish away. But he couldn't. Not when he saw what Aster was capable of last night. Fortunately, for him, Hongjoong didn't let them speak. "Don't take it too far, I just thought about that last night, it's just the beginning of a theory!"

He continued on the sentence in the card. Only San and Jongho reacted the way Seonghwa and Yeosang did. Everyone promised to inform Hongjoong and Eden the moment they noticed changes in dreams, their power or anything unusual. Yeosang didn't ask them about the stranger. He started to be certain he was the only one seeing him. This is when Yeosang decided to go home. He was so exhausted he needed to nap the rest of the evening but he wanted to stay alone.

The gentle hug Hongjoong gave him made it harder to leave.

The soft smile Seonghwa gave him made it harder to leave.

But the thought of seeing all of them next week, right before Christmas, left his heart warm.

Kyungtae visited them Tuesday morning at The Mist. He almost commented on Yeosang's injuries, but the barely visible smile he gave to Yeosang meant how proud he was. Yeosang learnt how to decipher how everything was going in the clan by Kyungtae expressions. He ordered Yeosang to follow him. This was rare. Yeosang just expected that his uninvited showing up on a crime scene would not be reprimanded too much. Youngmi already gave him a disappointed look when he got home, and although she didn't stay upset for too long, it was enough for Yeosang to deal with.

"So I've heard you're the detective's assistant now," Kyungtae said, almost playful.

Yeosang knew better than to lie to Kyungtae. "No. Kim Hongjoong is. I wasn't there only because of Aster, but Eden presumed it could trigger memories."

"Well, don't let this Aster become an obsession. He'll be dead pretty soon."

Yeosang didn't know how he could interpret Kyungtae's answer. Eden and his group needed whatever Aster knew about them. He would be no use dead. Yeosang took his chance. "He possesses knowledge on children of Pan we need."

"So I've heard."

"And dead men can't talk."

"And dead men can't talk," Kyungtae repeated, clearly amused.

"I could find a Child of Pan who can contact spirits, but we both know it would ruin the fun of extracting the informations."

Youngmi frowned at him. Yeosang learnt the hard way during one lunch the way Kyungtae adored acquiring his informations. Yeosang wasn't stupid, and he knew Kyungtae would take pleasure in torturing Aster. And because of that, he selected his words very carefully. Yeosang knew he won when Kyungtae tapped two times on the desk.

"Clever move, Sangie." Kyuntae was smiling, but it didn't entirely reach his eyes. "Sometimes, I think it's almost a shame you didn't enter the family business."

Yeosand didn't think he was capable of it. He grew up with violence surrounding him. It was still a part of his life. And a part of him didn't want to live up to become the destroyer Aster accused him of being. He just wanted a simple life. Well, as much as he could.

"Allow me to reward you with something probably useful. Since you've already met him, there's no real reason for me to keep it secret anymore. You're too involved with children of Pan anyway. Kim Youngjo is one of them."

It took a few seconds before Yeosang could really replace who Kyungtae was talking about. And he remembered the repair shop. Yeosang had been too stressed out last time to notice anything. He didn't stay long enough too.

"Has he been warned?" Yeosang asked. When Kyungtae raised an eyebrow, Yeosang clarified. "Youngjo."

"He probably already knows. But," Kyungtae paused, "feel free to include him on whatever your little group is doing. He could be valuable."

Yeosang left, bowing with his head, knowing where his next stop was.

Thursday arrived quickly and Yeosang didn't think he would be standing again in front of the small repair shop again. He just hoped Youngjo was working today. If not, he would come back the next days until he could speak with the man. The bell rang as he entered. A small blond guy was at the font desk this time, apparently playing on his phone. He looked at Yeosang with his round eyes and smiled, "Hello, how can I help you today?"

"I'm here for Youngjo," Yeosang said, getting his coin out of his hoodie.

Hwanwoong didn't seem impressed. He barely cared for the coin. He just kept smiling. "And why do you want to see my best friend?"

"Your what now?" Youngjo replied, getting out of the back room. He threw a menacing look at Hwanwoong who just rolled his eyes like it was nothing.

"I need to speak with Youngjo. Alone," Yeosang insisted.

"Fine, fine," Hwanwoong said while showing his phone. "You can borrow him. Don't keep him too long, I need him to help me win this level."

Youngjo hit Hwanwoong's shoulder before gesturing Yeosang to follow him. The back room was the same as last time. It smelt the same and the radio was playing softly. Sitting on the couch was tempting but Yeosang preferred to stay up. Youngjo closed the door. Yeosang chose to not beat around the bush, but he kept his voice low. He didn't think Hwanwoong should be aware of what Yeosang wanted to talk about.

"If you're an informant for the Cheong clan, you must know what happened."

Youngjo nodded, looking a bit uncomfortable but it was barely noticeable. Yeosang saw his shoulders stiffen before he relaxed quickly. Yeosang continued. "I don't know what info you have on Aster, but be careful of him. If Aster is hunting children of Pan and members linked to the clan, you could be next."

Youngjo's glare became so intimidating Yeosang almost wanted to take a step back. He resisted the urge and stayed composed. Yeosang would be lying if he said he wasn't impressed by this death glare. Youngjo clearly didn't like the fact Yeosang knew about his existence as a child of Pan. Yeosang had no knowledge of Youngjo's power and even though he was curious, he didn't want to find out the hard way, especially if he possessed an offensive power. Yeosang raised his hand in front of him, as a calming gesture.

"You're probably aware of who's Eden by now and how he's involved in the Aster case." Yeosang raised an eyebrow, acting as he wasn't too impressed by Youngjo. "And we're actively working on finding out what happened during the missing years."

Eden and Hongjoong were working on it. Yeosang and the rest of the dream club only helped them, but Youngjo didn't need to know this part.

"We? I wasn't aware you got involved in this mess but well, things change fast apparently."

"At this point, I can't continue denying my connection to children of Pan," Yeosang sighed. "What can you tell me about Aster?"

"Beside what you already know, he's a ghost. It's like trapping smoke in your bare hands. He's good at disappearing. But," Youngjo replied, "I might have a lead."

"Then, I hope you're good at what you do," Yeosang said.

Youngjo's smile stroke Yeosang as overly confident. "Haven't you heard? I'm the best."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seeing new bookmarks, new kudos really motivated me to complete this chapter, thank you so much!  
> Now that you've seen everyone and all the powers, any favorite?  
> A moment that made you laugh, cry or smirk? Tell me in the comments!


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